"Family fears I am too old to have kids" rant
Hope everyone had a Happy Easter and/or Happy Passover. I know some of us have a harder time around holidays with IF; they sometimes are a cruel reminder of what we are missing since so many holidays focus on children. We spent Easter with DH's family and it was a nice day and luckily his family is always respectful of where we are in the IF journey. Both of our families are overall pretty supportive of us doing IVF, but I guess since we've just finished our first cycle, there have been some subtle questions about genetic testing and egg quality, since I'm 43 1/2 (I include the half because that means I am just that much closer to 44!!!!) and also about my "energy levels for this age." Anyway, I try and remind myself that everyone is concerned about us having a healthy baby, but sometimes its so hard. I hear a lot of "well if its not meant to be, at least you have each other" and "sometimes things work out for a reason" and "don't worry if you don't have a child, you will still have a great life" but of course, these things make me feel like our families don't really beleive we'll get pregnant and if we do, they worry something will be "wrong" with our child. One of my aunts is against IVF and has not made it a secret, she has this theory that IVF meds give babies tons of health issues (I have told her numerous times there is no evidence to support this theory, but she doesn't care). Anyway, all of this saddens me because I think I know on some level our families are right, there are no guarantees we'll have a baby, and given my age, I sometimes wonder if they all think we are just kidding ourselves and go along with our "crazy IVF fantasies" just to sound supportive. It's extra painful to hear about my soon to be sister-in-law and their future kids, when hello, she is 37 and apparantly has some issues that could cause her trouble when TTC yet somehow its assumed she will get pregnant. I know we are all dealing with IF, but I'm starting to think I might be the oldest woman on DS!?!??!
If you are still reading, thank you for listening to my rant! :) Hope you are all doing well and wherever you are spring has sprung and you are enjoying the day.
xoxo
If you are still reading, thank you for listening to my rant! :) Hope you are all doing well and wherever you are spring has sprung and you are enjoying the day.
xoxo
Replies
Ignore them. Or better yet, tell them their comments are hurtful because you both really want to be parents. My Social Worker told me that one of her foster parents is in her 50s and just adopted a 3 year old. She told her she has more energy now than she did before. The 3 year old keeps her on her toes and she\'s always also trying to explore, play and think of fun things to do with her! Forget the naysayers. This is your life, not theirs! More ppl are becoming mothers/parents later and it doesn\'t matter. What matters is the desire.
F-them. Well, they are family, so maybe don\'t tell them off but ignore the. My DH is 43.5 and no one ever questions his age, I have never heard a single question. It is such a double standard, there are plenty of mom\'s also having their 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th kid at 43. I see it a ton on the babycenter pregnancy boards (I first started on the pregnant over 35 board and there were too many with gobs of kid so I moved to the over 35 first time moms board). :-)
So rest assured that their age comment is coming from media, not reality! Head high, your time is just around the corner.