Family, etc.

There is a really long story that goes along with this.  However, I feel like talking to someone about this so I am hoping to at least get a few responses.  This shouldn't be triggering, but be aware that this is about family issues, so if you feel triggered by these things, please just know that it is here. Anyway, I have a lot of problems with my extended family, particularly my grandmother.  My mother feels torn between our immediate family and her parents.  I try to encourage her to stand up for herself and not always do every little thing her parents ask her.  I feel very controlled by her family and it is like we have no control over what happens in our own house.  Various painful things have happened over the years and so it is not completely about my mother's feelings, but it is also very personal for me as well. My mother misinterpreted something I said, and was very upset with me.  She told my dad that I would never help her when she gets old and that she never has these problems when I am away at college.  My dad actually agreed with her and said that yes, I would never help them. Now, I think I help.  Yesterday was Christmas, and I helped a lot more than most of the other people here. I expect this kind of behavior from my mom because she is always like that, but I was especially hurt by my dad because we have gotten closer lately and he has started standing up for me when my mom does things like this.  But he agreed with her and I don't understand why. So I feel awful right now.  Like a complete burden to my family.  You might say to just not tell my mother what to do anymore as it isn't my place anyway.  But she asks me for advice.  She asks me what to do and I tell her what I think.  I keep telling myself to just do the best I can and that is all I can do, but right now that isn't helping. I could use some support right now because due to this and many other things that happened over Christmas and over the year in general, I am feeling positively crushed right now.  I know it probably doesn't seem like a big deal, but there is so much more to it, but if I wrote all that it would be a novel. Thank you all for reading, and please respond if you read this.  I need some comments or hugs right now. :)