Family dynamics
"The brothers of my mind."
I'm having a hard time writing this. It's not so esoteric but rather it's just something to open a discussion about. I just want to share this with you guys
because at one time I might have been very upset by this and then would lose myself in it.
Today I met up with my brother after not seeing him for a very long time. His first reaction to me was not happiness but rather condescension and sense that I'm a joke. He's very self sufficient and I am, well quite honestly, am a little bit of a wreck. I know I still have value and so I held onto that while we talked. Ultimately I pushed the hurt feelings aside and just expressed my real overarching experience to seeing which was gratitude, love and joy. He reciprocated. I guess we just needed to get used to each other again because we fell into relaxation a few minutes later. I confided in my sister about it and she said 'no worries it's just family dynamics' which I completely understand and agree and can deal with. At the same time i experienced this I got a text from a monastic in Corfu saying they all loved me and that I have a home always there. It really was uncanny the synchronicity of it. I realized one brotherhood was of real life and the other brotherhood was of the mind. I appreciate both and be comfortable with both now. I am so grateful! Quite honestly the brotherhood of the mind may have even seduced me in that it speaks of perfection and ideal. I won’t fall for that ever again. I love and understand both now. Hallelujah!
Replies
I'm glad you and your brother could talk more easily and get along better, once you got going.
Yes, you have both brotherhoods! I know you're an asset to the monastery and will grow in confidence as you go along.
Thanks GT!! May I call you Marianne?
My friend Father Ambrosio, in Corfu, also shed light on the power dynamics with his brothers. I think I’m seeing that with D too. The awareness is giving me patience and acceptance for that.
And later on I noticed D really is so sensitive to any assertion made by me anything that takes him out of his reality. My Dad was really dominant with us, maybe this is the fallout of that
I know from Father Ambrosio’s statement and then also watching the power dynamic between Prince William and Harry that this is not uncommon.
It’s ok if it’s not a pretty picture, it’s about coping and getting along even So.
I can’t wait to get back with Blue!:)
Sure, Mark - it's Mary Anne :)
Thanks Mary Anne!!!
hallelujah, indeed. the text message arriving so close to your relapse into the family dynamics strikes me as divine synchronicity on high. family dynamics are like a muscle memory which hold us steady through the stormy sees of life. alas, they all too often hold us steady in places we don't want to be. personally, i don't try to change that fact. i try to learn from it.
Thanks Arfie!