familiar sting

I cut last night
first and foremost, i fucking caved, wrist, leg, arm. all carved to shit. and what good did it do me? im still depressed today.no one gives a shit. shoulda gone another few cm and finished the job. bfs going to kill me tomorrow.
im so lame, recently started watching Packed to the rafters from te begining, cause ive recently gotten into the later series.. and i didnt realise the drugs and stuff involved. it really through me and hit close to home, ive been on the edge so bad these few days. ice is featured and im reeally missing the feelings i used to have :(i dont ever wanna go back there... but times like now where im real alone... the drugs call, they speak, call me crazy but i hear the whispers.
anyways  off to bed for me :/ before i do soemthign stupider