Falling away again

In the last two + years I've continued to fuck my life up. I cheated on my husband in a disgusting one night stand that I am thankful to have been too drunk to remember most of. A month later my husband lost his adoptive mother to a very sudden heart attack. The last two years have been a financial struggle despite having the security of inheriting her home which is paid off and we do not have to pay property taxes on. My husband hasn't worked in well over a year (which I certainly have understood and been patient with). I have been working part time since July, I became stable a week or so before I found and applied for my current job and now I find myself falling into the same destructive behaviors that have jeopardized my jobs in the past as well as what trust I have with my husband. I've been cutting to comfort myself and I have told no one but my therapist, I continue to attempt to work part time, take an accelerated Geology course and a regularly paced American literature course while I attend therapy weekly as well as marriage counseling every other week. I finally got on his case last week and since he has emailed his resume to two places and printed off one application. My therapist asked if I might be taking out my feelings of frustration for my husband on myself but I would think that it would be more typical of my self punishing behavior which tends to be burning. I've been cutting which for me serves a more comforting purpose, in a sick way its like being held by a loving mother when everything is far too much to deal with. I just feel lost and I'm tired of my arms burning and jeopardizing my current employment.