FAKE IT TILL YA MAKE IT? Same day Thurs July 23, 2015 6 p.m.

I keep hearing this especially today from my wonderful sister. FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT. I am pretty sure  that's what ive been doing? of course my med situation isn't getting better, thought they finally had it all figured out, but no, still faking it? DON'T KNOW. I LOVE MY SIS BUT SHE IS ON LIKE NO MED'S AND SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM REALLY GOING THREW. I WISH I WASN'T ON SO MUCH MED'S, HAD TO ACCEPT IT, DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT. NOW I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER DAY TO SEE WHAT'S UP AND OF COURSE THEN IT WILL BE FRIDAY. I DID START OUT TRYING TO BE POSITIVE THIS MORNING, EXCEPT FOR THE WHOLE MED FIASCO, HAVE REALLY AND STILL AM TRYING SO HARD TO NOT WORRY AND HAVE A PEACEFUL NIGHT BUT NOW I AM UPSET AND I AM A LITTLE SCARED. IT'S GOING TO BE VERY HARD FOR ME TO FAKE IT TILL I MAKE IT. ENDED UP EATING 3 EGG'S AND 2 PC'S WW TOAST TODAY, THAT IS ALL SO FAR, NOT GOOD, BUT DUE TO POVERTY I AM FORCED TO DO WHAT I HAVE TO DO. GOING TO SEE WHAT I AM GOING TO HAVE FOR DINNER. I AM A MESS, BUT STILL FAKING IT. THANK GOD FOR THIS SHINNY BOX AND THIS SITE.  I LOVE MY SISTER SO MUCH. JUST FEEL SO ALONE TONIGHT. WELL I GOT MY SHINNY BOX AND NETFLIX AND 2 OF MY SHOW'S ARE ON TONIGHT SO I WILL ENTER THERE WORLD AND TAKE YET ANOTHER BREAK FROM THIS ONE. WILL JOURNAL AFTER I FIGURE WHAT TO EAT. HUG'S TO YOU AND TO ME. THAT IS NOT FAKING IT BY THE WAY. XO   BAD EYES NOT YELLING B.T.W. OK THE END.......