Failing at therapy
Not gonna post a giant self-loathing rant. No energy for that....just a question.
Does anyone else totally freeze when the phyciatrist, therapist or doctor ask "do you have any questions or anything else you want to talk about?"
My mind screams "yes" but I hear my lips say "no I'm good" almost like it's someone else speaking with my voice. I agreed to the exact Opposite of everything I actually wanted.
I practiced beforehand saying what I wanted.
I even wrote out my question/ concerns on paper....but couldn't move to hand it to the Dr.
Still failed
I can't even get getting help right.
Replies
As I read this post I remembered my mom telling me to “be kind to yourself.” Is there a way to write down your wants/goals to have in hand for the next appointment?
I agree to write them out and if you can't talk for the moment mention that when you write out the questions or discussion that you'd like to have
Practice simply handing the letter or list that you want your doctor or therapist to read
Maybe hand it to her/him as you walk in if it's easier
Remember that they care and they want to help you
Big hug sweetie...xo
Maybe you can email the questions or topics you want to talk about and request them to be brought up at your next session? I sometimes do that with my therapist if there's something I struggle with to bring up on my own.
I made myself a note on my phone one time of “ things to talk about “ in therapy… it mostly helped, cause I just handed him my phone and he read them…. And his only response was….” Wow… ok…. Well, I’m glad you wrote it out, now which would you like to start with” to which I said none……. But now he knew, and wanted to help me work through them.
I have to take a piece of paper with my notes on it to every doctor appointment. I get worn out and forget to ask questions. I have a lot of health issues and it sometimes takes a lot to remember it all. And you might want to tell the therapist that you freeze up. They have dealt with other patients that freeze up. They want to know the real you.
The idea to put your needs into a brief portal comment to the therapist the day before is excellent. Also keep writing down your notes on paper and taking it with you.
I have doctors who like that I bring notes and sometimes I give the paper to the doctor. I did this last week as one of my doctors suggested a treatment and I gave him that paper showing the suggestion and the new doctor suddenly got interested. I guess he felt it was one doctor to another doctor not just nutty sounding at times me.
Answer yes when you mean yes because you matter. It is being kinder to ourselves to answer yes when we mean yes or no when we mean no.
Be kind to yourself and do whatever you need to foster that kindness. Remember that you matter!
Maybe take a trusted friend, or someone who already knows the issues you want to discuss, and have them jump in and help if you freeze up… my brother had a stroke about 5 yrs ago, and I go with him to some (not all) his appointments just to step in when his grammar freezes ( he gets stuck on words, and can’t get past them sometimes)!…but the times he doesn’t want me there, he doesn’t deal with the issues that he keeps telling me he needs to deal with….