Fail Fail Fail

So today I have my weekly D and T meetings. Eeeek.
I haven't been doing too well.
First off my D asked me to not weigh myself this week. Weighed myself the two days after I met with her (so last Wed and Thurs), was good and didn't weigh myself Fri, Sat, Sun but then weighed myself again yesterday (Mon) and this morning. FAIL #1. I email her everyday my food intake for that day- which I have been doing. But....I haven't been telling the whole truth- I have been adding food and lying as to what I write her. Meaning I am eating less than what I am telling her. FAIL #2. Lastly after my appt last Tuesday, I felt really guilty and sent my D an email saying I used laxies the night before....she wrote me back asking how many, if i had since then and if i could dispose of them. Well I didn't dispose of them...and I took them again the past three days. FAIL #3.
I feel gross. I feel huge. And I have my period so I feel even worse. Does your period make you retain more water and therefore make the number on the scale increase? I sure hope so- because I feel like I should of lost weight this week and I haven't...ugh
I hope things go well tonight. I feel like shit right now.
Oh and I've had insomnia since like last THursday. This fucking blows.



Sending you lots of love and support. I hope your appointments went ok - please try to be honest with them, they\'ll be able to help you more if you are.