Fabulous Five Chapter 2- Alex

Alex is a friend I have known for about a year now and heres the story... Alex is an actress. I was getting guidance from her on how I need to find a good man and also about getting myself to be comfortable in my own skin. Alex is one year younger than I. I admired her so much because everyone liked her and she was just funny and so free and knowledgeable about herself and who she was. She was my mentor for life and I was, as she liked to call me, her stray. Like I said in a previous journal I wasnt consistant in my behavior. I would make plans with her and forget and dont call and that was one thing she hated! Most of the time though I was a good friend. She is less fortunate than I so I help her with gift cards to food markets etc. I take her everywhere with me when I borrow a car, help out her grandma (she lives with her granny) and by her food when we go out, pay her way when we go out and so on.  I started seeing she wasnt really that appreciative of my actions and rarely says thank you. I also started feeling that she liked the fact I wasnt up to her level and I started feeling used. When I started my recovery she seen I was getting better and she started acting different. She didnt like the fact that I was more confident or so it felt like. You know that feeling when you are in competition with your homegirl?? Thats what it felt like. I thought I was getting jealous of her because she was so great and I admired her but I didnt care about that when I was getting better. So I threw my confidence in her face a few times so I wouldnt feel like I was under her shadow. Now we barely talk but we are still friends. I feel like we are the way we are now because of my inconsistant nature before. It most likely made her annoyed so she couldnt appreciate me as much but I still feel she should be more accepting of me now that I am on a path to recovery. I havent told her about my isolation process but it looks like I dont have to do that since she hasnt called me in like 3-5 days...whatever.