Fuck

I'm walking on egg shells. I am going to lose my job. I need to leave. I got pulled up today. I am no use. I keep fucking up! He has a list fucking two A4 pages of all the shit I've done wrong everything I've failed to do even when I recieved a letter just before Christmas stating the obvious where I had to brush up my act. Well, that obviously didn't work. He said I lack in showing my initiative if thats how you spell it and common sense. I fuck up adding up the cash at the end of shifts. I fail to pass on messages. I haven't learned enough in the space of 5months or so that he said. All true. So basically it is my own fault. He even said that it seems that I am not even bothered about this.  That it looks that way.  I just froze, agreed. I didn't know what to say, there were two other nurses in as witnesses. I was just so shocked. At my own stupidness being writting right there on those peices of paper. Everything I've failed to do correctly. All of my fuck ups. They are major and going to cost me my job. I need to leave. I want to leave. But how and what if I never get another job.  I have one  month. At the end of that month I will be pulled up and spoken to again to see if I've pulled my weight. I want to be out of there well before that month is up. I was so close to leaving today I couldn't face going in. Such a twat that I am. It's all my own doing. Fucking stupidness. I knew it was too good to be true having this job. Thought I was doing ok and that things were going well. Guess not.  How can I quit what can I say. I need to confront him tomorrow I want to apologise for everything and I want to hand in my notice. I want to leave. I can't let him sack me I want to be the one to leave and I've thought about it for a while. I don't know what to say.