F-Buddy

My W cheated on me again!!!  With a guy she calls a F Buddy!  She's seen him a total of 5 times and to me that's 5 times too many.  She says it's all just sex.  When we have sex it's comprised of all these emotions and fixed up feelings.  But when she has sex with this F Buddy, it free of everything but aggressive sex!  I'm tired.  I'm tired of trying to keep this together.  Where do I go from here?
Nothing in my morals and beliefs say that this behavior is acceptable.  Nowhere is this even a bandaid for things missing in our marriage.  I don't want this anymore!!!  I am falling down a hole and there is no end in sight.
Tell me this is purgatory for all the sins I've committed?  Tell me that I've deserved this for my past wrong doings?  WTF.  I'm better than this.
Me