extreme moods, messy mind, feelings of futility
The past few days my mind has been going down rabbit holes
looking out for ideas and understandings - nearly uncontrollable
thoughts, well not a lot of control (which is frightening) and on top of it, though I've been persisting
with work, I have started to feel more and more tired, messy headed and sloppy.
I realize that so this may be the case I must own it and have to follow up with my Doctors
and my support group to express my woes and take re-aim to keep on track with work
and taking care of life and managing my issues. I've had the darkest of thoughts, dark, yet at the end of today when I
left the office and felt I had done an alright job in face of the messy headedness and fatigue, I came to grips
with an idea that's helping me. That I need to manage all of this stuff and it will be a slog. It might even be a messy slog. But maybe it's like painting a painting - like going from out of focus brush strokes, filling a space and then finally and ultimately coming to a cohesiveness and composition. Anyways, I hope you guys are having a good day.
May there be some lightness and time to enjoy some good pleasures. I really hope so.
Replies
Hang in there Mark...I'm also feeling sloppy or messy.
It's a rough road Chris. I don't know how I am going to 'get along' in the world but that's my fear talking.
I can keep at the work and maybe just be sloppy and messy at the same time. My head is spinning fears as well.
Can't listen to that. I'll just keep the routine and get to bed, take meds etc..
Good plan to check in with Dr. and support group and keeping to your routine. You will be OK.
I got a stinky brain fart out of ". . .looking out for ideas and understandings - nearly uncontrollable."
As the stink has cleared the room, I find myself wondering if mixing ideas and understandings is kinda like mixing ammonia and bleach. Of course the mix is uncontrollable. Both are powerful elements and best kept in separate store rooms.
Or am I lost in metaphor again? ? ? I've often speculated that metaphor is the leading cause of brain farts.
I'm always disappointed when my farts don't stink....am I wierd?