Exposure therapy through familiarity?
Dear DS diary,
There are entries that are calls for HELP, and then there are those that just make me think, "?". This is one of the latter times.
So, we finally had a breakthrough in therapy yesterday. :) Enough has come out about my fears and where things are that my therapist has managed to figure out that I'm not really paranoid, I'm more in a consistent state of hyper-vigilance as a matter of personal protection. This makes sense to me, because while logically I know the scars are long in my past, I know that emotionally I'm in a state of "I want to peek...but I don't want to find out."
Does this make sense to anybody? I don't know how else to explain it.
The therapist is suggesting I try DBT combined with some exposure therapy...which brings me to what happened today.
There was no company coming over tonight, and my parents were...bored. So we all went down a nearby candlepin bowling alley that I used to frequent often many years ago, at one point acting as volunteer help for a junior league before life got in the way. The building hasn't changed much over the last 10 years or so, and memories of times I had been there acted as a rare unbreakable shield.
I'm the only one in my immediate family who has it, which is not surprising because both of my parents have issues with control and balance (they are, after all, overweight). I struggle somewhat because I can't remember for the life of me the style I used so many years ago, so I've had to experiment with a modified cross-alley approach that has me looking like I'm shooting in slow motion.
I didn't do too badly. I tossed games of 82 and 101, nothing to write home about compared to the guys I used to see on TV all the time, but not terrible either...and more important, nothing bad happened. So while my therapist and I really didn't get a chance to talk about what exposure therapy would entail -- 45 minutes is difficult for me to get thoughts out in -- it would seem that the idea sounds okay.
Which is making me wonder...and here's where I need some input: I KNOW from experience that this place has leagues that start up in the fall, and the bowling alley is bus-accessible (plus I could always learn to ride a taxi, I guess, if I had to). The building feels safe, but Idk how I'd react near people who I know I almost certainly would have never met before. And yet...I'm really getting sick of the reactions I'm having. They just aren't reasonable, aren't even making sense anymore...
...what do you think? Should I be bringing this possibility up?
There are entries that are calls for HELP, and then there are those that just make me think, "?". This is one of the latter times.
So, we finally had a breakthrough in therapy yesterday. :) Enough has come out about my fears and where things are that my therapist has managed to figure out that I'm not really paranoid, I'm more in a consistent state of hyper-vigilance as a matter of personal protection. This makes sense to me, because while logically I know the scars are long in my past, I know that emotionally I'm in a state of "I want to peek...but I don't want to find out."
Does this make sense to anybody? I don't know how else to explain it.
The therapist is suggesting I try DBT combined with some exposure therapy...which brings me to what happened today.
There was no company coming over tonight, and my parents were...bored. So we all went down a nearby candlepin bowling alley that I used to frequent often many years ago, at one point acting as volunteer help for a junior league before life got in the way. The building hasn't changed much over the last 10 years or so, and memories of times I had been there acted as a rare unbreakable shield.
I'm the only one in my immediate family who has it, which is not surprising because both of my parents have issues with control and balance (they are, after all, overweight). I struggle somewhat because I can't remember for the life of me the style I used so many years ago, so I've had to experiment with a modified cross-alley approach that has me looking like I'm shooting in slow motion.
I didn't do too badly. I tossed games of 82 and 101, nothing to write home about compared to the guys I used to see on TV all the time, but not terrible either...and more important, nothing bad happened. So while my therapist and I really didn't get a chance to talk about what exposure therapy would entail -- 45 minutes is difficult for me to get thoughts out in -- it would seem that the idea sounds okay.
Which is making me wonder...and here's where I need some input: I KNOW from experience that this place has leagues that start up in the fall, and the bowling alley is bus-accessible (plus I could always learn to ride a taxi, I guess, if I had to). The building feels safe, but Idk how I'd react near people who I know I almost certainly would have never met before. And yet...I'm really getting sick of the reactions I'm having. They just aren't reasonable, aren't even making sense anymore...
...what do you think? Should I be bringing this possibility up?
Replies
DBT and exposure therapy sound like a good plan. If you want to join a bowling group, then go for it. It would be a good way to meet new people and make friends, while working to overcome your fears. You could work on building healthy relationships without fearing that someone wants to harm you.
Sorry I don\'t have any good input, but if you and your therapist think it\'s a good idea, then do it.
I think exposure therapy is great.
I think baby steps are a very good way to approach it.
Your symptoms are sounding so much like what I go through when I am here at home. I get upset just leaving the house unless hubby or daughter are with me. I never really put this together before we should \"talk\" about it more in pms
love and hugs I hope you keep up this positive forward thinking thoughts.