Expired Xanax

I can't breathe and I cannot tell you how much xanax I have taken tonight. Most of which I just discovered was from 2008 and then I started to take the real xanax that I have had on tap. I am hyperventilating, my psychiatrist suggested that I should move out my dad's house and into my mom's house due to stress reasons implicated by my step mother. I think that this might be a great idea. I am so depressed and I don't know why. I think that it's because of not having any friends here to call at anytime just to talk. Though, I have not tried this method. I have pushed away a lot of people in the past few years and I am sick of doing it. 
 
Sarah Burrows is a great friends and we share two classes together and she never invites me out and it really hurts my feelings. The only people that I have interaction with are Jacqui and Neida. I think I am so depressed that I am not even realizing these things. I need to be with people and I want to be with them, it has just become so difficult for me and I don't know what to do. It cane so easy in the past and now it's seemingly impossible.
 
I sent my dad the bill for February and it is north of $800 the most that it has ever been but I am so over drafted on my bank account that I need the money as soon as possible. That is why I don't want to leave the house too, is because dada is where my money comes from and I don't want to use him as a checking account. I'm so tired, I think that I want to overdose on liquor and pills. I am going to watch parenthood and fall asleep in a deep coma. 
 
Goodnight moon.