Excited and Scared
Excited and scared to death at the same time!
Someone from church asked me if I would like to grab lunch with them next week.
Of course I said yes. I can't believe, or imagine why she would want to have lunch with me.
BUT....
I have literally NEVER had an adult friend before (I'm 49)
I haven't even EVER (not ounce in my life) gone anywhere without out my husband dragging me out with his friends. Much less gone to lunch with a potential friend of my own.
I've completed built my life around socal avoidance.
I have No clue what Im doing. Or what an adult friendship is supposed to look like?
What I'm going to say? Or even if my social anxiety will let me speak at all. (Some time I get so scared I literally forget how to talk or just cry)
I'm excited. I really would love a real friend.
But so scared I'm going to screw this up.
UPDATE:
Lunch went FANTASTIC!
I think I was a little manic because I was so excited, but she didn't think so (said I was just fine, not manic)
Im still super stoked. We talked.
I ACTUALLY talked and had real conversation. That's huge!! Huge for me. I've seriously never done this before.
We even talked about getting together again for like shows, music festivals and such.
Replies
I'm sure you will be just fine! It's just a lunch, no pressure and no expectations for what happens in the future.
Did you go yet? How did it go?
Haven't gone yet. It's this coming Friday (June 14)
It will be fun. Do you know which place you will be eating at?
If you're nervous, try to ask her questions. People LOVE to talk about themselves, so asking about her, what does she do for work, how is her family, where is she from.... etc... will keep the pressure off of you to do too much talking.
How are you feeling now about the lunch?
Yes, she ask me to pick the restaurant. We're going to one of my favorite places; i already know my order.
That's awesome advice, thank you! That's what I 'll do.
I saw her briefly at church Sunday. She saw I was hesitant to approach and said it was ok, to come on over. Then she gave me a friendly hug.
She knows I have really bad anxiety, could tell by my mannerisms around the group.
I'm a little less nervous, knowing that she already knows that, and even knowing I'll be awkward, still asked me to lunch.
I think it's great that you're going to do this lunch! Good for you. And yes, it helps a lot that she knows you have anxiety.
I've had anxiety issues for over 20 years. I can understand how challenging this is for you, and how brave you are being for doing this. I really truly think you will have a nice time. And there is NO pressure or expectation to do this again. It's just ONE lunch. They say to live in the moment and not think ahead with the "What If's"??
I think talking about that church, how long has she been going there, what does she think of the congregation.... etc. Might be some good topics.
I'm here for you if you need more support/advice. If not, then good luck and have fun!!!
Cool, thanks!!
Thank you so much