everything is a mess
Well I haven;t gambled in 13 days. Now comes the guilt, shame and remorse. How could I have lost all that money? How could i have been so obsessed with something. I wouldn;t listen to anyone. I thought I could gamble my way out of my problems when gambling is what created the problems. I also suffer from severe mental health issues and many physical problems as well. I owe $20,000 in credit card bills am 3 months behind on my house payment. It is only a matter of time before it will be fore =closed on. why how did I do this? what is going to happen? I pray for a miracle every day. I belong to a support group in my church called celebrate recovery. I have been there since October. They kept telling me to pray for the desire to quit. I was so obsessed I thought of nothing else. Well I finally set a quit date giving me time to one more time try to get some of my money back. So a few days before my quit date I went to the casino and lost another $650 including my car insurance money which I once again talked my daughter into lending me. After I lost all my money that night I went down and did a self exclusion for 5 years. I know I should do forever but I just can't. though I have given up on the hope that I can ever gamble again. I bought one lottery ticket on Sunday and then Monday was my quit date. I feel I have really mind with Gods help to never gamble again. But I really feel like crap. Hopefully eventually I will feel better. Now to somehow clean up this mess I have created.
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One thing to be happy about -- is you own a house. This is HUGE!!! the bank will usually work with you.