Every time I turn around.....

Every day... every time I turn around he does something to purposely push my buttons, it seems. He must be doing these things on purpose, because I simply can't imagine anyone behaving the way he does, intentionally. Keeping this in mind, " Why does he constantly do this ? " 

He'll expect me to tip toe on egg shells 24 / 7, but in his mind it's perfectly okay to behave like an uncivilized raging beast with me about 6 or 7 times out of 10. A very good example is the way he'll call me " stupid ", or " idiot ", during one of his raging fits. But if I was to ever call him either of those names, I would never hear the end of it, and he would make me feel like the worst person on the planet for calling him one of those names. Do I ever get an apology for his name calling, and / or yelling ? Oh hell no ! It's extremely rare that he ever apologizes. Why do I tolerate this ? I wish I could come up with a straight answer to that. The only thing I can think of is that deep down I'm simply tired of being alone, and will do whatever it takes to not be alone anymore. Is that wrong ? I think that before anyone starts to say how wrong that is, they should walk a mile in my shoes first. They'd have to live through the past that I've endured before judging me for not wanting to be alone anymore. What's that saying ? People that live in glass houses should not throw stones ? I think it goes something like that. 

Over this past week, or so, we've had some arguements over his facebook friends list, and the amount of women on it. I've expressed my true feelings about his friends list mistakenly thinking that he would allow me to be that open. Instead he became angry, and enraged with me right away, and warned me to stop talking about it, or there would be a " real problem " between him, and I. That is a truly hypocritical thing for him to say considering that he was the one that said he wanted me to express my true feelings about things. How can I do that when every time I dare to, it back fires on me big time with him biting my head off in rage ?!

Why can't he simply interact with me every day in a calm, caring, peaceful, and polite manner, and leave it at that ? So many days he'll start the day off that way, but then during a passing conversation one or two words are said - with no hateful intent - and that's the end of " peace " for that day. The one, or two words, that were expressed as simply a personal opinion, or observation, were all it took to destroy any chance of happiness, or peace that day. That should never happen, but it's a " reality " that I face nearly every day. I wish it wasn't so. I love him very much, but often his anger scares me. Once, or twice, recently I came out and admitted to him that at times he makes me nervous. I'm not sure if he paid attention to me, or not, since at those times he was either in the middle of fuming from a raging fit, or in the process of coming down from a full-blown raging fit. I hope that at least some small part of him heard me, and understood what I was talking about.