every day --- new things

it seems every day is providing new things to like about the monastic life - and new things


to feel ambivalent over - sort of in a way - does that make sense?


- I just feel so grateful to be able to provide this special


thing for people in the outside community - 


yet I also know with my confidence that is growing - that I remember it's also important


to keep a bit humble pie close and not get too big for my britches (how's that for metaphors Arife!??) :)


- no matter where


or with whom I am.. there will always be things to quibble over or


sort through - anyways - my ego isn't getting big -  but I know


sometimes for the mental health challenged we can be tempted to change everything in life 


with the turn of a mood or a sudden new awareness. It's crucial though to me that I have seen


this quality within me - and I know it is indeed an aspect of the illness and something I can


look at and control - That changing or turning within me is now giving me access to humility


and helping me set back in my chair again to regroup and get on with my life in a healthy


thoughtful positive and calmed and affirmed and careful way.

Replies

SensitiveHoboLady
SensitiveHoboLady

As an outsider to a monastic living, I would presume a place of wellness and peace surrounds but you are reminding me of humanity’s imperfections. Navigating through them all is our universal endeavor, it seems.

Have a good weekend Marko!
malibumark
malibumark

Happy Weekend as well Nikki!
arfie
arfie

the buddhist term for that contradiction of finding a new ambivalence with every new joy is. "yin yang." it only makes sense to me when i don't overthink it. ply radical acceptance here.

i've wondered a time or 30 if that metaphor of getting too big for your britches is a piece of my tendency to starve myself. people were always telling me i was getting too big for my britches and? ? ? to this day i still struggle with taking metaphors literally. metaphoring around doesn't come naturally to me. you should see what my mind's eye does with pie metaphors.

what's in your humble pie?
malibumark
malibumark

it's a shepherd's pie - I love british food - and pubs -
so a humble shepherds pie - a pie for sheep and shepherds alike :)
arfie
arfie

if you ever want an amusing show, ask a britt and an irish who invented shepherd's pie.

i think my drunken irish papa is going to come after you in your dreams tonight for calling it, "british."

down here on the southern great plains, only snobs know what shepherd's pie is. belly up to your chicken fried steak and watch your mouth, girl! ! ! have some extra okra with that.
malibumark
malibumark

I love okra!