every day can't be yesterday

I had a good day yesterday. Not dancing-in-the-streets great, but a good day. Somehow, in trying to focus on the positive changes (if any) that I notice, I feel like I made yesterday bigger and better in my head than it actually was. In reality, I was able to go out and take interest in something I used to love. So it's a step in the right direction. I just have to remember not to make it more than it was. Why? Because then you wake up the next day (today) and are disappointed. 
I woke up about an hour before noon today (though I'd prefer to call it 10:48 a.m.) and just rolled back over to go back to sleep. When I woke up, it was 12:03. I sat up and had to think about getting out of bed today. I feel like I've been able to get out of bed without a huge amount of thought lately, mostly I see the time and then just get up. Today, I had to tell myself to get out of bed. And I was disappointed because I'd had a good day yesterday. 
I've been feeling mildly anxious today, so took some lorazepam a little while ago. It's helping a little. I even managed to fold a load of laundry. (The little things really are a big deal, I swear.)
I responded to someone's discussion post about whether or not when we feel better, we also try to sabotage it... My response: "I think I know how you feel too. I started to feel a little better yesterday, and today, when I woke up, I just didn't want to get out of bed. The depression was telling me yesterday was a fluke, that I couldn't possibly be getting better and so I should stay in bed because I'm still depressed. When my fiance noticed I didn't seem to be doing as well today as I did yesterday, I was almost relieved because I didn't want to think one day of feeling all right meant I was magically better. Which of course leads me to think, do I really want to be better? Anyway, I'm not sure if that makes sense, but I feel like it relates to that feeling of self sabotage while trying to get better."
I guess you just have to take the better days with the worse days and remember that getting better isn't a steady linear upward path. It doesn't help that the rain has been incessant. It is gloomy out.  
My fiance wants to go out for a walk with me. I really don't want to. But maybe it will make me feel better.