Ever Feel Like Your Failing As A Parent??
Lately I have been feeling like my attempt to be a good mother is ending up as an epic fail. Everyone says I'm doing fine, that parent hood isn't written up in a manual, that all kids toe these lines. But regardless of what they say, I still don't feel like a good mom.
First off, I have the SURLIEST daughter ever. You see all those cute toddlers, with their chubby cheeks and curls. With smiles and waves. And you think 'what happy kids! They must come from a safe, loving, well adjusted home'. And then you see my daughter. With her permenant frown, constantly hiding her face from anyone who dare look at her, refusing to speak, smile or wave. And I feel like people look at her, then me, and think that there must be something wrong at home for such a young child to be so antisocial. And there's not! At home she speaks, and occasionally to family members who visit. She has always been snarly for as long as I can remember.
Second....the attitude! Marlow turns three on the twentieth...and I may drop her on a nunnery door step before then. The back talk is non stop. And it's not like teenage back talk, but it has the same insolance and disrespect in it. If you tell her to pick up her toys what follows is 'I'm going to my room, I'm not listening to you, I don't like you, I love you but I hate when you tell me to clean up my toys, you need to clean up my toys instead, I am leaving, you can't tell me what to do, I am the boss' and on and on and on and on. Plus the infamous phrase 'I don't care'. I HATE that phrase! And I don't know how to stop it. I've tried talking to her about it calmly, I've tried time out, I've tried privelege loss, and I have even put a drop of soap on my finger and touched it to her tounge. And it's about EVERYTHING! From cleaning up, to getting shoes on, to eating supper, to getting in the car.
Plus suddenly she has stopped picking up after herself completley, and it's a fight to get her to tidy up at all. And getting her dressed is WWIII! I let her choose her own clothes, but that doesn't mean she is going to put them on. If she is left unsupervised for five minutes she destroys something. I can't even let her go to the washroom alone. That means everytime she has to pee I have to stop what I'm doing and go watch her....or else she gets in the band aids, pulls out all the towels, rips up a roll of toilet paper.
We are trying to keep her entertained, tire her out. Parks, bouncy castle, crafts, bubble blowing, reading, puzzles, dress up, fort building, tag, soccor, she starts dance again in September. But nothing is helping with the attitude, disrespect, and blatant defiance.
It makes me feel like the only answer to it all is that I must be a shitty mom, that somehow this is all my fault and it will never end because I'll always be the same bad mom.
First off, I have the SURLIEST daughter ever. You see all those cute toddlers, with their chubby cheeks and curls. With smiles and waves. And you think 'what happy kids! They must come from a safe, loving, well adjusted home'. And then you see my daughter. With her permenant frown, constantly hiding her face from anyone who dare look at her, refusing to speak, smile or wave. And I feel like people look at her, then me, and think that there must be something wrong at home for such a young child to be so antisocial. And there's not! At home she speaks, and occasionally to family members who visit. She has always been snarly for as long as I can remember.
Second....the attitude! Marlow turns three on the twentieth...and I may drop her on a nunnery door step before then. The back talk is non stop. And it's not like teenage back talk, but it has the same insolance and disrespect in it. If you tell her to pick up her toys what follows is 'I'm going to my room, I'm not listening to you, I don't like you, I love you but I hate when you tell me to clean up my toys, you need to clean up my toys instead, I am leaving, you can't tell me what to do, I am the boss' and on and on and on and on. Plus the infamous phrase 'I don't care'. I HATE that phrase! And I don't know how to stop it. I've tried talking to her about it calmly, I've tried time out, I've tried privelege loss, and I have even put a drop of soap on my finger and touched it to her tounge. And it's about EVERYTHING! From cleaning up, to getting shoes on, to eating supper, to getting in the car.
Plus suddenly she has stopped picking up after herself completley, and it's a fight to get her to tidy up at all. And getting her dressed is WWIII! I let her choose her own clothes, but that doesn't mean she is going to put them on. If she is left unsupervised for five minutes she destroys something. I can't even let her go to the washroom alone. That means everytime she has to pee I have to stop what I'm doing and go watch her....or else she gets in the band aids, pulls out all the towels, rips up a roll of toilet paper.
We are trying to keep her entertained, tire her out. Parks, bouncy castle, crafts, bubble blowing, reading, puzzles, dress up, fort building, tag, soccor, she starts dance again in September. But nothing is helping with the attitude, disrespect, and blatant defiance.
It makes me feel like the only answer to it all is that I must be a shitty mom, that somehow this is all my fault and it will never end because I'll always be the same bad mom.
Replies
No, you\'re not a shitty mom! But I will say one thing: kids pick up on dysfunction between parents. And they WILL act out when their parents aren\'t getting along. I\'ve seen my kids do it as well!! Just keep doing what you\'re doing, be consistent, and be a hard ass. Don\'t EVER let her get away with it, even ONCE... Cuz they remember.