Events over the Holidays..

So I went to my mom's for the first few days of Christmas Vacation, had a nice visit with her, my aunt and one of my brothers.  On Christmas Eve I had to leave from her place in KS to make it to a Christmas dinner at his dad's side of the family by 5pm.  I was told specifically from him I HAD to be there by 5.  So I got on the road around 11 am which would put me in at 5 as long as there was no major problems and of course made it with 10 minutes to spare.  He doesn't show up til closer to 5:30 but I am not uncomfortable around his family, especially these guys.  They are great, funny, entertaining and humorous.  Had a great evening there and made it back to our old house to set up for Christmas.  Found out that when he was trying to tell me previously that he really didn't buy anything for anyone he meant it.  He didn't have one single present for any of the kids or his own family.  All we had under the tree was what I brought with which was one present for each of the kids (I had left the remaining of my kids presents at home in OK) I felt really bad and really if I had the opportunity would have taken him out to get some more presents but I knew better to offer.  Christmas came and went, had a Christmas dinner at the house with his mom and her boyfriend.  Turned out great, food was wonderful and atmosphere was fun.  I stayed at his place til January 3rd since the kids didn't have to go back to school right away.  We talked about things in general conversation and as usual everything on the surface is always good.  One day there came about a problem with his oldest daughter (who is suppose to be in counseling) she had done something to her sister so of course they come and get me.  As I went to check on things and do the lecture deal his daughter decided to tell me about a few things.  She was really upset about a lot, we ended up talking for almost an hour.  She flat out told me she hates her father.  That her, her birth mother and her brother have things against her father to get them taken away.  Asked me how I would like to have my kids taken away from me.  Told me that I was the reason her mom couldn't get or hold a job.    (she attacked me once at a grocery store and got fired over 6 years ago)  That her brother isn't suppose to be there because he's not blood related, that her sister was wrongfully taken away, etc.  Tons of stuff.  She sounded and acted so much like her mom I had to really breath deep when trying to discuss things with her.  I discussed what I could with her and tried to help her come to some sort of calmness but towards the end I could see it didn't matter, she had the "I don't care what you say" look.  Like her mom is the only one that really knows what's going on.  She did say she wanted to drop out of school, sees no need to be in it.  (she's in her second year of 4th grade)  
 I talked with my boyfriend about it later one on one and explained what she had gone over.   The counseling isn't helping especially since it seems he doesn't take her every 2 weeks or so like I thought.  Something about the scheduling gets mixed up so she hasn't had consistent counseling since last May.  I talked more with his daughter and his son about things to see if they had any questions or wanted to talk.  Dealt with an issue with his son so that he could talk about it with his dad.  Neither of them are big talkers with their dad.  Mainly because they know when they have had problems in the past that he usually ignores them or puts them on the back burner.  I explained with this situation that it's one of the many reasons I can't just move back.  That things need to be dealt with.  He says he agrees but then in the same sentence claims I am trying to tell him how to raise his kids.   Any type of conversation that I bring up that is too much for him to handle turns into my problem.  I'm stressing him out, interrogating him or a few other excuses.  I fear the situation with his daughter is only going escalate further and probably really soon.