evening
I think I realized why I like the church/monastery so much. I’m humble and I don’t have a rich full life, I do have wonderful relationships and that has come with a great effort of commitment and dedication and devotion but the church/monastery gives me a sense of belonging a sense of ceremony a sense of community and sense of structure and it really helps me think about things. Like a superstructure to understand my personality and humanity. I wanna run sometimes I get paranoid, but it catches me here in safety. I wish there were a way to describe everything about it, i wish I could’ve built a strong civilian life like my family members. Life tempts me to try it. Also I always liked the monarchy as you know and that gives a sense of ceremony and stability in life too. So I’m seeing where I have leaned.
One of the fathers said to me that too much change too fast is not good for our psyche. It doesn’t promote positivity he said.
Anyways that’s not so pertinent.
Tonight’s service was really pretty! I get tense sometimes but I relaxed and just enjoyed it tonight.
I think I kind opened my eyes to our abbess. She does a really good, great job.
I realized too how in Oklahoma I had a different sense of self and strength and awareness.
Here things are a little more tight but it’s good good, I like both.
Replies
You sound great Mark. I'm glad you are feeling confident and comfortable with what you are doing.
Here's to your success on the journey for your well-being. A rich full life that works for you is unique to you.