I've had my son living with me since school started which has been great and I love him to death, I thought at one point I would never see him again and that one day he would blame me for disappearing on him and he would hate me, so it's good that he is with me he makes this divorce process a little easier to deal with. I'm no fool, I do consider myself intelligent and I will admit that I still love her very much considering how much she has hurt me. I know that she is sharing a bed with someone else and sharing those intimate moments that were meant for her and me, knowing that, I still can't shake my love for her, why? I feel like the town fool, I've found that people had seen them together around town together and never told me. I feel as if the world is whispering behind my back how stupid I was. Even knowing this information my heart won't let go. Yesterday as I drove home from work I could only think of the names (Sophia Alicia & Cruz Antonio) those were to be the names of the child we were to have, thoughts of what could have been constantly roam through my mind. I see pregnant women all around me and it constantly forces those sad thoughts down my throat, I'm happy for those women but I think why can't I have that? I understand I may meet someone that will be be able to give me the family I want some day but why have to go through such misery to attain happiness. I want to start dating but I know that I carry too much emotional baggage for it to be fair to the next woman, when will I let go?