Emotional torture

I shredded our photos 2 days ago and ever since then all I can think about is why he left me in silence with no explanation.
I think he got cold feet and I know he had financial issues. He had also been married twice before. His first wife cheated on him the second he cheated on her and the live in defacto of 10 years she cheated on him. There was also a girlfriend of 3 1/2 years before me. I know that his marriages weren't happy and maybe he was a scared of getting hurt again...but so was I..he knew that I had been hurt badly in 2 previous relationships and didnt want to get hurt or left again.
He always said there will be a proposal and he told my doctor we are going to have a baby in 18 months. There will be a wedding a house and a baby. We had a mock ceremony in his house and wore rings when we went out and were talking about where to get married.He said I can't wait to be properly married to you and then 2 days later...SILENCE.
Has anyone been left like this and can anyone help me with advice on how to get through it. I do keep busy but these thoughts creep in.