Emotional 'High Tide'
I wrote this at the outset of my mood:
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I was busy during the morning - got coffee - did chores - ate breakfast - played with Blue -
then errands around town - came home - made lunch - cleaned up after lunch -
did a couple of tasks and now I just feel like I have an emotional high tide - like I wish
I were meeting up with someone - I wish I didn't have to be by myself -
like I don't want to let go of ''control" too? do I want a partner?
Maybe I need to find more fulfilling work??
What came to mind when thinking about this was something my therapist has said
that "when you're on your own it can be a pressure to set the agenda" - and yet
now what I am saying to myself is - that it's hard too - to let go of that control - so it's both.
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I was feeling very emotional and out of control but I've been telling myself "I can do this" - over and over
and you know what? I can!!
I just have a whole heck of a lot respect for what it takes to build
a life independently. The emotional 'high tide' made me feel needy of someone's approval and help...
but I am keeping at telling myself over and over that "You can do this!!" "I can do this!!" and it just gave me the power and inspiration to get on with my day. So I haven't really seen a friend or coworker or a loved one yet today. It's ok -
I will tomorrow.
I'll go to work and then will have dinner with my parents. Things are good. The high tide inspired me to lie down on the couch - and the respite I think was a good antidote!
God bless! Sending good mojo!
Mark
Replies
Here's what I did to help myself figure into a more independent success marker. I keep a list of things I do daily and it gives me a sense of accomplishment. It sounds like you're doing the same! Keep up the excellent work!
Thanks !
There are pros and cons to everything in life, really. Finding the peace and the balance in any circumstance is how to keep going methinks. I was loving all this solitude in the beginning of the pandemic - now - I’m a bit stir-crazy.....
Universal feelings, really.
Thanks Nikki
I hope you are saving some respect for what it has taken to build your own life. Measure not where you are. Measure how far you have come.
Water makes for great meditation analogies for the emotional flows of life. A saltwater allergy keeps me from full appreciation of high and low tides, but they are valid analogies in Arf Opine.
All my life's a circle, sunrise to sunset. ~Harry Chapin
Thanks Arfie!