Emotional Addiction

     There is this thing called emotional addiction. I am not talking about just any addiction, but an actual change in our cells that cause us to become addicted to certain situations, people and events.      If you google 'emotional addiction', you will be given a plethora of results, many of which are inaccurate or not relevant.... I often found that disengaging from my ex was much more complex than just 'letting go' of the relationship, him or the dream that came along with it... It went much deeper than that.      I felt like there was this huge gaping hole in the middle of my chest that threatened to swallow me whole... And then there were the drug comments... Him referring to me as heroin, me referring to him as toxic... But I always wanted one more hit, even if I knew it might kill me. I might as well be laying down and huffing gas fumes out of an old car, trying to get high!  Obviously, I am simplifying things to make a point...  I felt like there was something seriously wrong with me that was stopping me from transforming my life (and still is stopping me). In my quest for answers, I ended up googling EFT and other various therapy methods. Somewhere in one of the articles I read was something about interrupting the messages of the brain with physical stimuli to stop disruptive or cyclical thoughts, ie. I am not good enough, no one loves me, ect.  I bounced back to my college days when I was pre-med. At one time, I was hell-bent on being a neuro-surgeon/ scientist. I interned for one for a great neuroscientist, working on studying the physiology of psychopaths (ironic, isn't it... If I only I knew...). Anyhow, along with this course of study came a lot of education about the brain, neurons and the nervous system.     It all came back to me in a jumbled heap, so a lot of the information I am about to share should be considered carefully, is not fully accurate and is being put in way, way simplified terms to save everyone from reading a novel...  But basically, our brains work like this...  Input (a situation, argument with our spouse, celebrating a birthday of a good friend, receiving kisses from a puppy)-   Then  Release of chemicals that trigger internal and physiological responses (happiness is thought to be triggered by certain chemicals that bind to our neuro-transmitters, the most common one known as serotonin, fear or anger release also release corresponding chemicals, like adrenaline)  Then  Thoughts  Then   physical reactions... Smiling, crying, ect.  Because the body is a very efficient machine, over time all we need is to have the briefest contact with a stimuli to trigger a rush of chemicals that make us feel and then think a certain way. It is what saved years and years ago from being eaten by bears! It is also the same reason why we have children.   Now let's say you have a lot more contact with bears than children... Each time you see a bear more chemicals are going to be released to tell you to run. So let's say you see a bear 5x's in one day... All of a sudden you have an influx of chemicals 5x's more than you did the day before when you see the bear only once. Like all cells, our brain cells are capable of dividing. Again, our bodies, the powerful machines that they are, decide we need more cells that are equipped to respond to those chemicals... So our bodies make more and more...  Following along with the bear analogy, let's say a month goes by... All of the bears that threaten the village just vanish. Poof! Bears are gone. However, all of the cells our bodies made to transmit the chemicals that ensured our survival still remain.  At first, we keep looking around for bears. We look for them whenever we go down to the river to take a swim, late at night when we have to use the toilet. But there are no bears. Suddenly, life in the village is vry peaceful, alomost too peaceful. Where did all of the bears go, we wonder to ourselves.  We feel restless, agitated. we can't put our finger on why.  Over time, perhaps months and months, we stop wondering why the bears are gone, and we are just glad they are! We no longer feel afraid swimming in the river, or walking about late at night.  Physiologically, those cells that were created to transmit the chemicals that enabled us to run away from the bear are slowly replaced with cells that contain more neuro-transmitters for peace and contentment. We no longer miss the bears. Over time, we don't even THINK of bears... Because no one has seen a bear in years.  We go about our lives living peacefully and content. Whenever our peace is interrupted, we miss it and start looking for ways to restore the sense of peace we had before. Just like we once looked for bears.