emotional abuse

So...there's a chance that my ex wasn't emotionally abusive only for the 2 years we were together, but for the whole 7 years from after we started dating up until I finally got over him. No wonder I'm so insecure. I'm too submissive...but I can't help it. 
Part of me hopes that if my boyfriend really does turn out to be abusive, that he'll go on and show his true colors soon, and stop playing with my heart - making me trust him. Honestly, even the slightest attitude seems like a red flag to me. There are completely normal things he says that I understand why he says it the way that he does...but at the same time, I wonder if it really is a red flag. My boyfriend is half African and half Trinidadian, and English is his second language...so sometimes I know it's a slight language barrier thing happening...or a cultural difference, but then when I think about it, I began to question how true it is...and also, there are some things that could easily be seen as red flags...but I'm scared, because I don't know what it's like to be in a healthy relationship, and so I don't want to mess it up. Idk. I hope things go well...but part of me has come to terms with the possibility that he might end up being abusive too.
Oh well. It is what it is :\