emotional

so today is one that i want to be over i am feeling depressed like i have no strength left i have been keeping to the bedroom for days my "roomie" is being a real d**k he was in the shower so i decided to watch my cat from hell he came out looked at the tv and said "i'm not watching any animal shit" so i turned the channel i have been enjoying my free month trial of netflix but damn i don't want to feel locked in this room all the time! i went for a short walk in the rain and it felt real good i have always loved the rain and gloom it seems to reflect how i feel that i don't have to hide behind a false smile that isn't true to how i feel.and there you have it i put a smile on my face a false bravado so that nobody can see the pain in my eyes my eyes have always betrayed me i love to wear sunglasses so people can't see me not that i feel anyone can see me anyway or if they do they do not give a damn happiness seems like just an illusion today and i am wondering if i will ever fully enjoy the sun on my face.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Actually rain will cleanse your mind body and spirit, you must know this on some level since you like walking in it, I do too, I find it brings me some peaceful moments. Just hang tight darling, the future looks bright for you, just a few more \"cloudy days\" ahead yet, it won\'t be long. Big (((((((HUGS)))))))),Blaine
Rhoda22
Rhoda22

thank you very much Blaine it was great to get your words of encouragement i just need to keep the light at the end of the tunnel in sight although it seems soo dim at the moment
deleted_user
deleted_user

I\'m in that tunnel too, just jump on this Buffalos back and we\'ll ride out together.
Rhoda22
Rhoda22

jumping on LOL :)
deleted_user
deleted_user

Forgot to tell you, don\'t mind the aroma lol