Embracing Polarity
We are on Chapter 7 in Way of Mastery...and it's about looking at our polarites. This is something that happened to me. When we notice polarities, we are to ask that the hand be joined/embraced and NOT judged. This has been a huge shift for me. Being sexually abused, I did one on sexuality. One side of me despised it and one side yearned for the closeness...it has been interesting. For me and all I have learned up to this point if about EMBRACING wherever I am. This may not make sense to some, but will make great sense to others. Hope all of well. I don't care for this new site AT ALL! When you read Sarita's response, she is one of my teachers. xx
I don't know how to put into words what has been going on with me these past few days, but I will try. I need Gloria to write for me as her writings are so beautiful. I had a polarity two days ago in my quiet time. My right hand is somewhat deformed due to RA (rheumatoid arthritis) and my left hand not so much. It the quiet time, my right hand was sharing how it hates itself, how it's still angry, feels so very ugly, judgmental at self and others, how it is arrogant at times, how it lives so many lies, how it is so fear based at , etc. There was so much more. The left hand was more calm, more comfortable, more at ease, felt faith-filled, much more accepting of life, etc. As the two hands joined, there were many tears and the left hand greeted the right hand and just held her. Again, there was more, but it was a great meeting of hands. This morning as I looked at my S-I-L's (son-in-law) FB, I was once again triggered. He is a great teacher for me when it comes to being a phony as I have said before, my life was nothing but a lie for years. Anyway, as I was in my quiet time this morning, my right side once again shared how phony I was, how I seemingly live this spiritual life and have for 36 years and how at times I don't believe a fucking thing about it when I have physical and emotional pain. How I feel at times this is a bunch of bullshit!!! It's a joke. How dare I be told I did this RA thing to myself, how dare I have to take responsibility for myself; for my child abuse and sexual abuse, etc. How dare you ask me to forgive them! My UNBELIEF shocked me; these feelings shocked me. I was pissed. THEN, my left hand somewhere deep inside had such faith, had seen healing in myself over and over and over. Had a heart filled with nothing but gratitude for how far I had come from that lost, confused, pain-filled, little child. How I had forgiven others and myself. As this continued, I asked the right hand if it were willing to join me and it was NOT willing. So I continued to sit and breathe. As LB continued the right hand began to move toward the left hand and finally they joined. The left hand said to the right hand "thank-you so much for sharing that truth with me!" And that was that and the hands were joined. I cried and cried and cried and cried. I sat with that and continued to breath until I knew it was over. As I opened my eyes and parted my hands, I really had an overwhelming crying/bawling experience. So here I am now trying to type into words what happened and this does not even begin to touch what I experienced. But, I wanted to share.Sarita...thank-you for this polarity thing! It has brought up deep, deep awarenesses' I knew nothing of. I have to laugh because when I was diagnosed with RA 19yrs. ago and laid flat with the most severe pain one can imagine, I used to say RA means for me acceptance or resistance. WOM has helped me so much in accepting and no longer resisting. I thank all of you because each and every one of you has played a part in my healing! xxOk....I am crying again. Going to be one of those day. Happy and grateful tears!
LikeShow more reactionsCommentSeen by 174Eddie Lee, Sarita Premley and 2 othersCommentsSarita Premley Wow wow wow! Vicki I am so awed and delighted by this! So profound... I'm so pleased you managed to put some of it into workd for us... I know these experiences go way beyond words but thank you for the taste! And for making the process your own.As I wrote the process up I was reminded of Jeshua's channelling at a Way of the Heart Festival some years ago where he asked us all to remove 'contradiction' from our lives. It strikes me what a great process for that this is, especially within the context we've all been learning of non-judgment and allowance and patience, which you so beautifully modelled.Like · Reply · 2 hrsVicki Jewel Dowell I don't know why this is so touching; but I am crying AGAIN! As I was in the shower, the thought came to me, "self-love met self-hate" and they embraced each other. So very grateful!
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First, Happy Birthday (July 21)...I do not like that this format either which was intended to reach people using mobile devices. It feels disconnected to me with more room given to ads than room to respond.
Okay, had my say, again, about my great dislike for this site format. Beyond that, thank you dear one for this post and for sharing your ongoing healing journey. Embracing polarities is an idea I find interesting on a number of levels; physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. Physically the left side of my body was more traumatized than my right side. Of course I wonder why and am not sure but it does open the door to investigating possibilities.
Mentally, I find myself wrestling with what seems to be conflicting ideas--love/hate, push/pull, etc.,
Emotionally, the polarities get expressed as right/wrong, good/bad, and other such judgements.
Spiritually it's about God/quantum power, being connected/feeling alone, etc.
So, thanks, Vicki for another method of healing these dualistic views.
SuzA
This is amazing Vicki. I think I might try this sometime. I think you are incredibly brave. Xxx
A former boss sometimes described someone or something as "crazier than a sprayed bug." I think the description may be applied to those responsible for this new site format. The font is really hard on my eyes, and some pages have light grey text on white background, which is really insane. I have found it helpful to left click and drag the mouse across sections, highlighting them. This makes the text white on a blue background, which is helpful.
I'm not familiar with this polarity discipline, but the dialogue between aspects of yourself seems quite beneficial.
"...how I seemingly live this spiritual life and have for 36 years and how at times I don't believe a fucking thing..."
The soul has dark nights, but they pass, becoming new days, as you are becoming a new person. We emerge from the dark times with greater compassion and empathy for ourselves and others. To believe without questioning, strangely enough, is usually a combination of denial and disbelief. When a person gets discouraged and abandons belief for a time, then comes back to it, she will find it supported by a greater degree of inner wisdom.
I am working on an article about forgiveness, and if I succeed in sharing my concept, it will be apparent that self blame for illness makes no sense at all. What we think of as forgiveness, has a problem. We are instructed not to judge others, yet we absolutely must, in order to have a reason to forgive. What need is there for pardon, in the absence of condemnation?
I believe forgiveness is the prayer of St. Francis, the Golden rule, and the two commandments given to us by Jesus, in a single word. This kind of forgiveness looks beyond the offense, to find ways of healing the condition that led to the negative behavior.
Maybe when I finish the article, I'll post it here.
Wishing you many blessings, Aaron
Hi Vicki. What an incredibly insightful, visual entry. Thank you for sharing here with us. I'm crawling back to DS here on my hands and knees, disoriented by the new format. Is it me? It feels very disconnected. I don't receive notifications. So I'm poking my head back in to say hello and to see how you are doing. Sending you light and healing for your RA. I can't imagine :(