Embarrassed and exhausted
Oh my gosh I'm so tried today my whole body aches.
Its that feeling like you have after a car crash...only there was no crash, physical anyway, no physical trauma or illnesses.
I'm told that normal after a significant mental health crisis like I had over the last few days.
Thankful my therapist was able to get me in, and at my pleading didn't admit me. But they did keep watch over me all afternoon yesterday there at their office until they felt I was stable enough to leave. But the did make me promise to call 911 if I spiraled again.
It's kinda embarrassing the state I was in. No one not even my therapist and doctor has ever seen me like that before. (Although it does happen I kept it hidden) I'm usually so guarded even with them. They had to experience the full triggered, completely unfiltered version of me.....I work so hard to hide. t_t. *Sigh*.
Idk ..... maybe it's a good thing that I had a complete mental break right in front of my therapist and physiatrist.
Not sure ....but now that I'm coming down I feel I humiliated myself.
Replies
Don’t feel humiliated. You had a very real, very serious episode. Is nothing To be ashamed of or embarrassed about and honestly it happened In front of the right people who knew how to navigate it and keep your best interest in mind. You have problems and it was being your control. What matters is you are better boss and you are safe. You can’t be embarrassed about what you can’t control
I think this might have been the first time I had an episode THIS bad that didn't end up with an ER visit with some self inflicted injury or attmpt
....but that's how I knew I had to seek help asap....