Eep...and more eep
Eep was just a way someone in the UK from a previous site I frequented reacted to things that didn't exactly sound good. The word is basically nonsense; I don't even think it's English.
But...it also seems apt to describe what's running through my head today. I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow -- my mother's legitimately worried about what happened the other day -- but I'm not expecting much good to come from it. Counseling isn't an option because of the people issues I have; so the best that can be done is to a) increase the strength on my seroquel or b) try a completely different med. I'm not warming to either idea too good, but what else is there?
I heard on the CBS Evening News tonight that one of the workers who cleaned up the 9/11 site, completed 10 years ago today, has been reading an entire book a day just to combat his demons resulting from digging through all that carnage. I don't think I have issues to the level that he feels, but I fear that I'm going down that road...to me, reading that much is effectively an addiction, and it's really starting to look like I might have to do something like that to myself and risk the burnout. In other words, I'm at the point where I pretty much feel that I'll have to live with my demons forever and so I'm going to have to find ways to hide from them.
I'm not warming to this, either...I'd much rather come to terms with them. But that just looks like it's not forthcoming soon enough to do me any good.
But...it also seems apt to describe what's running through my head today. I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow -- my mother's legitimately worried about what happened the other day -- but I'm not expecting much good to come from it. Counseling isn't an option because of the people issues I have; so the best that can be done is to a) increase the strength on my seroquel or b) try a completely different med. I'm not warming to either idea too good, but what else is there?
I heard on the CBS Evening News tonight that one of the workers who cleaned up the 9/11 site, completed 10 years ago today, has been reading an entire book a day just to combat his demons resulting from digging through all that carnage. I don't think I have issues to the level that he feels, but I fear that I'm going down that road...to me, reading that much is effectively an addiction, and it's really starting to look like I might have to do something like that to myself and risk the burnout. In other words, I'm at the point where I pretty much feel that I'll have to live with my demons forever and so I'm going to have to find ways to hide from them.
I'm not warming to this, either...I'd much rather come to terms with them. But that just looks like it's not forthcoming soon enough to do me any good.
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