ECT #18
I went to the early morning appointment time. Was #3 in the door and went straight to a bed vice waiting in one of their easy boy chairs and then going to a bed to wait some more. So it was pretty fast this time.
I talked with the doctor and did not give the polite social answer when asked how I am doing. this seemed to annoy her quite a bit. She shot back that ECT has probably had its impact on me and that there is no more improvement that I can expect. I guess my state could be worse. I think ECT has had some impact but just not enough to say that I am happy and depression free.
Next appt is Monday at the early time again (0700).
Replies
Thor it's not about being "happy and depression free" it's about making you responsive to meds so that they can do their job along with coping skills, changes in lifestyle and you can become happy and learn how to manage your less severe bouts of depression when they hit. Its also about not being suicidal.
ECT doesn't cure anything, it makes the Symptoms respond to the longterm everyday treatments and become manageable. But you still have to put the work in and learn coping skills, take your meds, see your Therapist and make the changes in your lifestyle so that you can manage your depression when it hits.
Your not suicidal anymore. Your not having severe Manic Eps. You're meds seem to be working much better. You may not see it, but you've gotten a lot of improvement from the ECT.
OlderCPer - Thank for the 50,000-foot view. It is hard to tell improvement when you are sitting in the foxhole. I think you are right even if I don't feel that my mood is any improved. I have not had a manic episode since Oct and even if I still see suicide opportunities around me, I have not attempted in quite a while (six months). So thank you for the "review" of my ECT progress.
I agree with the above. You were hoping for more than ECT can do, meaning leave you symptom free and be the old you. It has put you in position to lead a much improved life. Calming and comforting hugs.
Its not always easy to see the positive changes when you're still in the thick of it. I had to be "out" of the foxhole before I could see it all.
I still have depressed episodes, mainly in the winter, but I can manage them. I still have Manic episodes, but I can feel/see them coming and I can manage them. And my brain became medication reactive and I'm on fewer meds at lower doses that actually work...
So, yeah ECT did not cure me, I will always be BiPolar, but it made me more Stable, and it made the symptoms more manageable. Its an ever changing journey of learning new tips/tricks/coping skills and ways to manage things. Changing things in your life that aggravate the symptoms is also a big deal.
I got rid of a husband of 25 years, Retired from a chosen Profession in Psychology and went down to a much less stressful Profession in Accounting at a Semi-Retired level. I do things now that make me happy, instead of constantly worrying about raising the kids and keeping a spouse happy. Now I take more care of "me", my health, my body, my mental health. Now my Significant Other of the past 6 years is way less stressful, probably because we live in different State, LOL, (only 4 hrs. apart) and we don't spend 24 hrs. a day together. We both have busy lives and weekends and 1 day a week or so works very well for us.
You just have to find the things that keep you, if not happy, then content. Stability is the key and there are many things you can learn to do to keep stable.
Take care Spencer.
Kat