Eating habits // 30 days
Haven´t eaten in 30 days.
Today was a bad day - also food wise. I didn´t eat anything, but I felt hungry and I am utterly frustrated that I can´t simply eat anything anymore, even if it´s just a small apple.
On the one hand, I enjoyed the control that I have when I say "no" to food at the beginning. It gave me the comfort that I had back when I used to cut or abuse meds, but in a different way.
But today, I feel like I lost this control and it´s not something that I can decide anymore. I feel like even if I really wanted to eat, I couldn´t.
I´m beyond frustrated.
I´m frustrated because I let my bad habits control me. I always told myself that I´m the one who is in power, but that´s a lie I told myself for over a year.
Today was a bad day - also food wise. I didn´t eat anything, but I felt hungry and I am utterly frustrated that I can´t simply eat anything anymore, even if it´s just a small apple.
On the one hand, I enjoyed the control that I have when I say "no" to food at the beginning. It gave me the comfort that I had back when I used to cut or abuse meds, but in a different way.
But today, I feel like I lost this control and it´s not something that I can decide anymore. I feel like even if I really wanted to eat, I couldn´t.
I´m beyond frustrated.
I´m frustrated because I let my bad habits control me. I always told myself that I´m the one who is in power, but that´s a lie I told myself for over a year.
Replies