Easy to miss read signals

It is easy to miss read signals from the opposite sex when you are a widower/widow.  Being and widow or widower makes you very vulnerable and lonely.  This can make you miss read the signals that are being sent your way.  I accept that fact this is what I did with Bill.  He was just being nice to me.  I have watched him over the years and Bill is a friendly person who likes to talk to people one on one.  There was no overt flirtation or interest cause I got the signals wrong.  I watched the movie "He Is Not That Into You" which made me aware of what the problem was in the interpretation of reading the signals wrong.  I got the wires crossed.  I own up to my mistake but than again I am a newly widow so I have to learn about all these things all over again.  I am a people person and am friendly.  I am not worried about being alone for too long.  One of my long time friends who knows me inside and out said to me "I know you will not be alone for long Diane" and she is right.  I won't be alone for too long as it is not me.  I just have to get to know the signals and interpret them correctly.  I am learning.  I am capable of learning.  I am not too old to learn.  I am 54 years of age and can learn anything.  Has anyone got their wires crossed like me or am I the only one who got egg on her face?  I decided to avoid Legends for awhile till I feel better about going again.  I think it is best for me.  Besides there is another bar where beer is $1 cheaper if you order their pint of beer.  I only go out to the bars with my friend Carol or Don.  Other than that, I do other things.  Bar hopping is not my thing but it was Smokey's thing.  If I never had another beer in my life, I would be happy.  If I could be so lucky as to get a part-time job, now there is the challenge.  I am not worried.  Something will come up for me.  I am a person of faith so I am in God's hands.  Take care of yourselves and I hope this week is a good one for everyone.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I have never picked up on anybody\'s signals. I just see myself as a random woman and not anybody that anyone would notice in particular. I\'m always stunned when somebody expresses an interest in me - and yes, they do have to tell me for me to be aware of it! So maybe I\'m one who\'s always erred in the opposite direction.

Jumping back into the dating game after many years away from it is quite daunting, especially since all the rules and structure have changed so much since we were kids. I know you\'ll do fine if you follow all of our mother\'s advice - just be yourself, no game-playing, and now that you know you might tend to do this, don\'t jump to conclusions.

I\'m sure you\'ve done no harm and the incident looms far larger in your mind than in his. He may even be flattered!

Hugs, Gail
missulance
missulance

Hi Diane, I hope that you don\'t mind my commenting on your journal. I had a similar situation about 2 weeks ago. A restaurant that we have frequented for many years, the head manager has been really kind to us since my husband died unexpectedly in a car accident almost 2 1/2 years ago. After the first year family and friends started to notice him taking interest in me outside of being a customer. So they were all sure that he was interested in me. I wasn\'t it was just nice to have place to go especially by myself and feel welcomed and comfortable. Now at 2 1/2 years people were more convinced than ever and it got me to thinking and questioning myself and should I be interested in him? Then the guilty feelings etc. Well after all that everyone was wrong he was just being nice and he is seeing someone. So after beating myself up for entertaining the idea of going out with someone it turned out to be nothing. I feel really dumb now. I will go on the nights he is NOT there for awhile. You are not alone in this. I too believe that we have to let God take care of this for us. It is in his hands. Hope you have a good week, Denise