Easter weekend prigress
I was asked for an update by one off my friends so I'm posting an excerpt from a message sent to another friend. I can't thank you all enough for the interest and support.
My Easter weekend was a time of powerful healing in my marriage. With heartfelt emotion and sincere tears, my wife detailed her recent self analysis and discovery concerning her feelings and marriage coming to the ultimate revelation that she loves me and cannot imagine her life without me. She is ashamed she thought her unhappiness had anything to do with me and knows that only by working together with me will any happiness be possible for her. She is not "cured" of her issues, but she feels more direction, purpose, and commitment to us than she has ever felt in her life. She expressed deep sorrow and regret for what I had to go through and explained that it was my steadfast love that helped open her eyes. She asked again that we renew our wedding vows on our 15th anniversary in October. I admit I broke down during this. I showed my love for her, but I did firmly tell her that the 15th anniversary is too soon. I explained I have to recover my feelings of security in her. She responded that no matter what issues she may have in the future that may impact her feelings for me, she would come to me for help. She then agreed she needed to prove herself to me. I said that I just needed some time to heal, for what I've been going through this year was the most difficult thing I've ever gone through. She then suggested our 20th anniversary. This weekend was more than I could have hoped for, and there were many times I struggled on but had given up hope. Even though I am happier than I can put into words, I am still both realistically doubtful that she can resist the cycle and irrationally insecure about her feelings for me, long term. For the first time, though, I don't feel that dread of what the future will bring, and am hopeful she will dispell my doubts and fears.
I shall update this journal with any changes, good or bad.
My Easter weekend was a time of powerful healing in my marriage. With heartfelt emotion and sincere tears, my wife detailed her recent self analysis and discovery concerning her feelings and marriage coming to the ultimate revelation that she loves me and cannot imagine her life without me. She is ashamed she thought her unhappiness had anything to do with me and knows that only by working together with me will any happiness be possible for her. She is not "cured" of her issues, but she feels more direction, purpose, and commitment to us than she has ever felt in her life. She expressed deep sorrow and regret for what I had to go through and explained that it was my steadfast love that helped open her eyes. She asked again that we renew our wedding vows on our 15th anniversary in October. I admit I broke down during this. I showed my love for her, but I did firmly tell her that the 15th anniversary is too soon. I explained I have to recover my feelings of security in her. She responded that no matter what issues she may have in the future that may impact her feelings for me, she would come to me for help. She then agreed she needed to prove herself to me. I said that I just needed some time to heal, for what I've been going through this year was the most difficult thing I've ever gone through. She then suggested our 20th anniversary. This weekend was more than I could have hoped for, and there were many times I struggled on but had given up hope. Even though I am happier than I can put into words, I am still both realistically doubtful that she can resist the cycle and irrationally insecure about her feelings for me, long term. For the first time, though, I don't feel that dread of what the future will bring, and am hopeful she will dispell my doubts and fears.
I shall update this journal with any changes, good or bad.
Replies
Wow...this is wonderful news!! I cant tell you how happy I am in your wife\'s revelations and recommitment to you and your marriage.
And yes, I certainly understand you cautious optimism and need for time. This is what is to be expected. But your wife seems to be speaking from the heart and I am so glad for your whole family!!
Great to see a happy entry and so glad you are feeling so well.
Hugsssss to you AND your family -Sandy
Even though I am happy and want to believe we are at a new level of commitment in our marriage, I can\'t. Not yet. I\'m pretty damaged, I can see. I want to trust her but I cant yet. I love her but she wanted to end us. We have some work and some healing to do. I pray me will help me get there.
I will keep you in my prayers....but enjoy this as she seems to b emoting in the right direction. Don\'t forget to take time for yourself. To do some of the things that you enjoy.
This was good to read! I am so happy for you. You were there for her during all of her struggles, it is her turn to be there for you while you readjust to this latest development. I wish you both much love, happiness and success!!!!!! thanks for the update...
Thank you for the kind words of encouragement. Every once in a while I need a little push in the right direction, or a big kick in the ass as the case may be. My wife has been loving recently, but her nature is not consistent or predictable. It is easy to misinterpret her tone or choice of words to mean she is unhappy with me. This is especially true due to my ultra sensitivity resulting in unmanly terror of losing this wonderful woman. Don\'t worry, though, I plan on continuing to work on bettering myself and winning her love on a daily basis. The feelings of security will just have to come later. I guess I\'ll have to crawl for a while before I can walk. I can\'t express how lucky I feel to have your supporting friendships. Thank you!