early morning
those early morning internal fits and starts of painful and invasive thoughts I think help me
wake out of my sleep.. I don't like it - but I am starting to see that it's how my
inner mechanism works. Pain. I kind of need to accept it but I also need
to stay vigilant.. it's difficult to understand what I am supposed to do here
in life...every morning it's like i am a different person but things are getting
better.. I am starting to be interested in the future. Today the Treepeople are meeting,
Sunday there is a Christmas concert I am going to, Thursday I am going to a
lecture at the museum...I also want to go visit an old acquaintence in Palm Springs
after the New Year.
I hope you guys are doing good.
Sending xx oo
Replies
an important question in my personal psych herstory is, "where be that fuzzy line between "staying vigilant" and "hypervigilance?" when i started psychotherapy, there was not a doubt that the natural vigilance of my survival instinct had been over-developed to counter productive extremes. that is far from unusual in the throwaway kid camps. during my first attempts to lose those awkward teenage moves, i swung to the other extreme of trusting without discretion. oh for the love of balance. . . still questing for a clear and easy answer. . . wondering more and more if i need to just let the mystery be.
sounds like a wonderful social agenda you are lining up there.
steadying support while you carry through.
thanks arfie.
Go for it! That's the best way to figure out what works for you.
Enjoy the Christmas concert! Hope this weekend is a good one.
thanks Nikki! I am home from the Treepeople event. Just showered and dressed and had lunch.
Got to wash the dishes and pick up the mail. So far so good. :-) thanks!
Sounds good. I am out on a jaunt. Cold but sunny. Thankful for today.
It sounds like you have a really nice weekend planned.... I'm glad for you sweetie...... I'm sorry that you struggle with sleep and awakening....
I used to be on a med that caused night terrors... Wicked.... You could look up side effects of your meds sweetie and see if nightmares could be one.... Big hug.....xo
thanks Janet!!