DYING AND CRYIN

today was a bad day for me well i geuss it would be yesturday now cause its 1 am. i had flashes of what happened with my step-dad i cant get it outta my mind everytime i close my mind all i see is the things that happened to me. i dont know how to make it okay. i struggle with breakdowns and temper problems my therypist says i might be bi-polar and i need to see a psychiatrist. but i feel like my insides are ripped out whenever i think about it i cry. i hate crying i cant help but think  about all the bad things ive done to other people when i see his image in my had because of him molesting me i did bad things to cope with what he did. im dying all over again because of this. sometimes i feel like there is nothing to live for and it i didnt have my girl and my friends i would wither away to nothing.