DS Helping me come face to face.
I joined DS 2 days ago and I am already feeling a little bit stronger, mentally and emotionally. It is amazing the love and support every one on this forum shows you. There is so much understanding and relating, I had no idea. I think many of us go through our days feeling like we are alone in the world. Alone in our feelings and anxietys. Alone in our diseases and disfunctions. But we are truly not. This is most definitley a part of technology that I am grateful for.
I think many of us can relate when we say it is hard to get out and go to a live support group. It's hard to face our selves head on like that. Much less do it in a circle or group of people. I'm very thankful for online forums such as this, for that very reason.
Maybe I'm going a little over board. I check my DS religiously every morning. I browse it. It keeps me distracted from my Obsession Codependency. Something I struggle with from the moment I am out of bed and not in close proximity to my sig. other. He is aware that I suffer from anxiety. But not that I suffer from codependency as badly as I do. I have to use everything in my will power not to pick up his iPad while he is in the shower for a moment and snoop through it, due to an unjustified but very strong anxiety of mistrust. He is literally the light of my life and I will not lose him like I have with lovers in the past due to these issues. I find it difficult to be with out him for small moments. I'm working towards telling him and being more open with him about it. But for now I am loving the support I get from all of you.
It's tuesday today. I found a meeting in the same city I work in on tuesday nights. I'll be going after work. At least I hope I will. I haven't been to a CODA meeting yet. I am very nervous. But I know in my heart it will be good for me. I will keep reminding my self of that.
HUGS to everyone.
Replies
You will learn about boundaries, self love, self acceptance
And much more. Basically i just sat and listened and cried
For a long time. Nobody pushes you to speak until you are
Ready. There is no cross talk allowed during meetings so
Its best to just watch for awhile.
I just sat, listened and absorbed it is a whole new way of
Thinking and being. Its a spiritual program of self growth.
Learning to put you before others, there are steps to work
when you Are ready with a sponsor. A sponsor is a guide.
HUGS Mirandac
Miranda, how long have you been going to CODA meetings? I feel like I'll go once and the emotions that come with it will be so strong I won't want to go back.
So what if they do, i sat and cried for a very long time
Nobody cares we have all been there. I came in to
Alanon on my knees. I needed help and i was willing
And humble enough to stay and keep coming back.
I have been in alanon since 2012 i was no longer a
Doormat by the time my ex left in 2014 and i am still
A work in progress. Everything takes time to change
And grow. I still have a long way to go on my healing
Journey. I am very spiritual now and that helps with so
Much in life. Divorce care helped me there too. HUGS