DS Confessional (Warning: May Be Disturbing)

Dear DS diary,
Yesterday has put me at a loss for words.  I'm going to try to talk this out as clean as I can, but I can't guarantee that I will avoid retriggering everyone.  If you think this might be a potential problem for you, stop reading here.  Also, this journal is going to be long.
So, there was this story on the news yesterday morning.  Weird one, actually: It was about a water main break that had taken place in the area of Manchester, New Hampshire (I hope I remember correctly because thinking about the connections in this journal woke me up at quarter to four this morning, and I didn't fall back asleep after that).  Apparently the break was so severe that it turned the street on one city block into a river and the road collapsed, forcing evacuations nearby.  Nobody was hurt, but there are some people who I think may be homebound this morning because they can't get out of their driveway...instead there is this giant 10-foot sinkhole in the street.  I feel bad for those people because who knows how long it will take to get THAT repaved.
Now the eerie connection: At the pharmacy, there were plenty of "wows" about this episode, but also a few comments about could we take some people we don't like and dump them there right now, bury them alive.  A couple of those came from me, and while I can't remember how it was exactly worded, I made sure it would only elicit giggles (I am, after all, known as Evil One there for my sly sarcasm).
Here's the problem: In my case, was I really joking?
The reason why I ask is this: I once knew an uncle, quite obese, who had this habit of teasing everyone.  Sometimes he got away with it, most of the time he didn't.  I was at a gathering to commemorate the family car dealership a couple of weeks after it shut down (they did, to their credit, get out at the right time), when he came up with something for me that left me in tears when I got home that afternoon.  This was a bunch of years ago...7, maybe?  I can't remember what he said, but it was definitely unlike me...oh yes, now I remember, he had said something about whether I kept X-rated pictures on my phone.
Now, everyone, I'm going on the record right now: I do not, and will not, take or hold R or X-rated pictures.  If you've seen my gameplay videos, especially the more recent ones where I spell out that sexually suggestive material will not be shown under any cirucumstances, you already know this.
This hung in the back of my mind for some time afterward.  When he finally croaked a couple of years later, I felt bad for his family but that was it.  I didn't and don't miss him, in fact his death set me free from the scars he had given me because he would no longer have a chance to retrigger again.
Which is making me wonder, and this is the disturbing part: Would it take a death or deaths of some of the HS people who helped create my worst scars to get those scars to go away, too?  Seeing as how no amount of talking with my therapist has been getting me any closer to a resolution on this, and seeing how little it takes for the scars to be retriggered, I fear the answer might be yes.
This is something I don't want to do in real life, because I know what the consequences would be, but I'm starting to wonder if I really need to let myself dream about killing them off.  I'm serious.  This hasn't come before my therapist but since this has only come into view early this morning...
...maybe I do have to dream about that.  Maybe I really do need to play one of the GTA games that are kicking around in my brother's semi-abandoned room and just kill off NPCs to let off steam....
...maybe...