Drugged Hypomanic
I went hypomanic today... I cleaned the kitchen, went through a month's worth of mail, and vacuumed. I woke up at noon, went for a walk, went to work and came home and cleaned. I was in so much pain I had to take a pain pill, but it kicked in and I feel better now. I also took some klonopin and so I'm not as hypomanic anymore. I was going to journal when I was hypomanic, but all I could do was clean. I kept on just cleaning obsessively, but at least stuff got done. I didn't go too high which is good, considering I'm going to have to come down sometime, but still. I'm tired now, and I think I'm coming down a bit already. We will see how I sleep tonight to judge how I'm going to be tomorrow. I have more klonopin waiting in case I need it. No more pain medication, though. I took some Tylenol and you have to be careful with that stuff. You can only take it once every 6-8 hours now. If I wake up in the middle of the night with a backache, I might take some more, but that's about it.
Work today was nice. I wasn't on hold a lot, and I got a lot of appointments done. I brought my book with me in case I was on hold, but I didn't get a chance to read it. That's fine. Work is for work, and if I don't get a chance to read it's fine. It's just sometimes I'm on hold for a good 10-15 minutes waiting for someone to get on the line (normally... the other day when I waited an hour it was doing something other than my normal job) so I wanted something to do while I waited. I got 15 appointments done today, and I have 17 to do for tomorrow. My boss spent all day printing out stuff for me to do for the next couple of days so I could be busy and she could just enter stuff into the computer. I need to talk to my big boss to see about getting that computer training so I can get into the system and help out with that too.
Mood today was good... At work I felt tired. The hypomania didn't hit until I got home. When I woke up, I felt tired but I wanted to do my exercise for the day so I did my walk. I didn't get as far as I wanted to, but I still got out of bed and did something. I was tired walking to work and had to sit a couple of times, but I still made it to work and did my job. My boss said I was doing a good job, and that made me feel good. The people I'm calling to make the appointments with are starting to know me, and I feel good about that. They know I'm a good person and I'm nice. I talked to the girl I had the misunderstanding with the other day, and she and I are on good terms now. I'm still a bit worried when I call the place where she works, but it's just because I want to have a good reputation with her. Now I know what not to do, though, so I don't do it.
I know why I went hypomanic today, though... at least for the most part. Every year around my dad's birthday (November 16th) I get hypomanic. That's when I had my full blown manic episode, too. I've been able to prevent those since I've been on medication, but the little ones come every year around the same time. I don't know why, since I should be depressed and missing my dad on his birthday, but that's just the way it is. I know the year I went manic I was in Las Vegas at the time and I went crazy. Maybe each year is a reminder of that year, I don't know. I had fun being manic, but I have to remember that it's dangerous and I could do something stupid (even if it's something small like clean too much and hurt my back). When I was in Vegas, I thought I could jump off the tallest building in the city and be okay. I was going to go up there, but they wouldn't let me up since it was 2am and they were closed. I don't know what would have happened if I had made it up there.
Food today was okay... I'm at about 1,300 calories again. I should be eating more with all the energy I'm burning, but I'm not really hungry. If dinner wasn't part of my nightly routine, I don't know if I would have eaten or not. That, or I would have just made mac and cheese and just eaten that. But thanks to having Geo around I have to cook for him too, and that makes me cook for myself. Stress was low today.. I figured out what was causing the trembles- the approaching hypomania. Work didn't cause any stress... I was joking around with my coworkers about it being Monday after a long weekend. Sleep last night was good. I just hope that tonight I can have a good night's sleep. I don't know what's going to happen after the klonopin wears off. I think tonight's a night for Restoril (a longer-acting sleeping pill). Mood today was good... let's keep this up!
Work today was nice. I wasn't on hold a lot, and I got a lot of appointments done. I brought my book with me in case I was on hold, but I didn't get a chance to read it. That's fine. Work is for work, and if I don't get a chance to read it's fine. It's just sometimes I'm on hold for a good 10-15 minutes waiting for someone to get on the line (normally... the other day when I waited an hour it was doing something other than my normal job) so I wanted something to do while I waited. I got 15 appointments done today, and I have 17 to do for tomorrow. My boss spent all day printing out stuff for me to do for the next couple of days so I could be busy and she could just enter stuff into the computer. I need to talk to my big boss to see about getting that computer training so I can get into the system and help out with that too.
Mood today was good... At work I felt tired. The hypomania didn't hit until I got home. When I woke up, I felt tired but I wanted to do my exercise for the day so I did my walk. I didn't get as far as I wanted to, but I still got out of bed and did something. I was tired walking to work and had to sit a couple of times, but I still made it to work and did my job. My boss said I was doing a good job, and that made me feel good. The people I'm calling to make the appointments with are starting to know me, and I feel good about that. They know I'm a good person and I'm nice. I talked to the girl I had the misunderstanding with the other day, and she and I are on good terms now. I'm still a bit worried when I call the place where she works, but it's just because I want to have a good reputation with her. Now I know what not to do, though, so I don't do it.
I know why I went hypomanic today, though... at least for the most part. Every year around my dad's birthday (November 16th) I get hypomanic. That's when I had my full blown manic episode, too. I've been able to prevent those since I've been on medication, but the little ones come every year around the same time. I don't know why, since I should be depressed and missing my dad on his birthday, but that's just the way it is. I know the year I went manic I was in Las Vegas at the time and I went crazy. Maybe each year is a reminder of that year, I don't know. I had fun being manic, but I have to remember that it's dangerous and I could do something stupid (even if it's something small like clean too much and hurt my back). When I was in Vegas, I thought I could jump off the tallest building in the city and be okay. I was going to go up there, but they wouldn't let me up since it was 2am and they were closed. I don't know what would have happened if I had made it up there.
Food today was okay... I'm at about 1,300 calories again. I should be eating more with all the energy I'm burning, but I'm not really hungry. If dinner wasn't part of my nightly routine, I don't know if I would have eaten or not. That, or I would have just made mac and cheese and just eaten that. But thanks to having Geo around I have to cook for him too, and that makes me cook for myself. Stress was low today.. I figured out what was causing the trembles- the approaching hypomania. Work didn't cause any stress... I was joking around with my coworkers about it being Monday after a long weekend. Sleep last night was good. I just hope that tonight I can have a good night's sleep. I don't know what's going to happen after the klonopin wears off. I think tonight's a night for Restoril (a longer-acting sleeping pill). Mood today was good... let's keep this up!
Replies
When i get like this... dont know if i would call it hypo but i clean like so much that the kids all stay out of my way. Other times i cant motivate myself at all like extreme highs and lows and an entense edgy feeling that i cant explain where its coming from. Hope you can rest and relax tonight enough to sleep. thats great your mood has been good for while... mine has been like a rollercoaster effect. Hugggzz sleep good
i find it carthatic almost when i actually get in the mood to really clean, it seems like an all or nothing, besides the basics of laundry and vaccuming. it does feel good to me to see the house clean, lol. i totally relate to the eating issue, i have no one to cook for so i let myself stay in my 2-3 safe foods, though i know it is not a proper excuse, as even when i cook for the kids, i dont sit and eat with them anyways. im glad that work is so positive for you, it seems to really lift you up, awesome. about the food, sometimes your just not all that hungry and you have mostly been in your range, so dont stres to much, you get it back. hugsss