I am flooded in debt and so alone that suicide feels like the only way out, the only way get out of the pit. If this is what life is like to live then I don't want to live anymore. I should have been more concise with my money and the weight it comes with. I used to be so good about these things and when my bipolar came in I just kept spending and opening new credit cards. I am deliberating bankruptcy but I don't want to kill my credit if it is not salvageable. Though, bankruptcy is something that I don't want to have to do. It seems so complicated. I need a job and I can't get one. This is the first time that I really can't find something and it's scary because I can't even get a call back from Starbucks.
I am applying for some openings that are posted on craigslist.com, maybe I'll get lucky. I am going to go now. I am going to ponder life and what may be whats lest of it. I am going to try to get out of this mess.