Driving All Over the City
Today we had the car again. We went to the Social Security office to try and get Geo a proof of income letter, and the place was packed. We had to park in a lot for the mall, and walk across a large stretch of grass to get there, and then we were supposed to wait for hours. Geo and I discussed it, and we decided to try and see if his insurance card had come in the mail (and then he wouldn't need the letter from Social Security). So we drove across the city (and Miami is a big city, it took us an hour) to get to his old house where his mail goes. Geo's not talking to his mom still, or else this could have been avoided. Anyway, we get to his old place where his mom's ex lives, and talk to him. He only speaks Spanish, and so I was asked to translate. I got across that Geo and his mom were having issues, and that if Frank (Geo's mom's ex) got any mail for Geo, then to send it to our new address. All this complication just because Geo's mom kept the letter from Social Security that said how much his new payment was going to be. I don't know why she kept that letter, but she did.
So today we spend driving all over the city. It was a pain in the butt, and dealing with traffic wasn't fun. Geo and I tried to make the best of it, and were talking for a good part of the trip around. It was nice to have him all to myself. We went out to dinner, a Japanese buffet. I tried to be good with teriyaki chicken, rice and sushi. I had a bit of upset stomach after we ate, but it subsided. I think it was because I ate so much and I'm not used to eating to the point of being stuffed. I tried to eat slow and not go over, but I did anyway. I did stop myself from getting more when I wanted more, so there was a success there, but still, I ate too much. I'm within my calories for the day, though, so that's something to be glad about.
I was supposed to go to work today, but Geo said he needed to go to the office, so I went with him instead of going to work. I feel bad for skipping out on them so much, but I have stuff I need to get taken care of before I go. Once I get back, I have to be really good about making it into work and all that because I'm going to be applying for an actual job there, so it's going to be a test for my employment. I'm kinda worried about what it's going to be like working there, but I know that they like me there so it can't be that bad. If nothing, I can just go back to volunteering there, so it's not that big of a deal, but I really want the employment thing to work out. I don't want to be on disability forever, so I need to start getting my head around having a job.
Speaking of which, they fired one of the girls at work and I was thinking that if I was better I could try and take her job. I know what you have to do to do her job, and I can do it. But I can't manage the hours, and I'm not ready for that kind of pressure. I know that when I am ready, I will go back to working, but I'm not ready for a full time job now. I wish I was... I wish I was normal again. But I have to take it one step at a time... part time job, then full time job, then getting off of disability. I can still go back on disability if I get a full time job and it doesn't work out due to my bipolar. I really hope it doesn't come to that, though. I want to be productive, I want to be a good member of society. What really worries me is my medical review. I hope that when it comes time for them to review me, I'm still qualified as disabled. Most of the time I'm fine, but there are times when I'm not. When I was reviewed this past time, I was in a bad state, and I think that's why I got approved. But there's no guarantee that I will be approved again. It's something that makes me nervous.
Food today was good... like I said above I was in my calorie range. I had chicken and a Fiber One bar for breakfast and then the buffet for dinner. Well, it was halfway between lunch and dinner, but it's almost 9pm and I'm still full, so it counts as dinner. Mood today was good.. I got to spend some good time with Geo before I left, and so it was nice. He wanted us to go out to dinner so we could have that time together. He's so sweet. I did get a bit depressed again today thinking about leaving, but it was a fleeting thought. So I'm going to upgrade my mood to good. Sleep last night was good... I wanted more, but I had to get up and go with Geo. I think right now I'm just in the mood for getting more sleep no matter how much sleep I get. Stress I talked about above, with the traffic and all, but overall today went good!
So today we spend driving all over the city. It was a pain in the butt, and dealing with traffic wasn't fun. Geo and I tried to make the best of it, and were talking for a good part of the trip around. It was nice to have him all to myself. We went out to dinner, a Japanese buffet. I tried to be good with teriyaki chicken, rice and sushi. I had a bit of upset stomach after we ate, but it subsided. I think it was because I ate so much and I'm not used to eating to the point of being stuffed. I tried to eat slow and not go over, but I did anyway. I did stop myself from getting more when I wanted more, so there was a success there, but still, I ate too much. I'm within my calories for the day, though, so that's something to be glad about.
I was supposed to go to work today, but Geo said he needed to go to the office, so I went with him instead of going to work. I feel bad for skipping out on them so much, but I have stuff I need to get taken care of before I go. Once I get back, I have to be really good about making it into work and all that because I'm going to be applying for an actual job there, so it's going to be a test for my employment. I'm kinda worried about what it's going to be like working there, but I know that they like me there so it can't be that bad. If nothing, I can just go back to volunteering there, so it's not that big of a deal, but I really want the employment thing to work out. I don't want to be on disability forever, so I need to start getting my head around having a job.
Speaking of which, they fired one of the girls at work and I was thinking that if I was better I could try and take her job. I know what you have to do to do her job, and I can do it. But I can't manage the hours, and I'm not ready for that kind of pressure. I know that when I am ready, I will go back to working, but I'm not ready for a full time job now. I wish I was... I wish I was normal again. But I have to take it one step at a time... part time job, then full time job, then getting off of disability. I can still go back on disability if I get a full time job and it doesn't work out due to my bipolar. I really hope it doesn't come to that, though. I want to be productive, I want to be a good member of society. What really worries me is my medical review. I hope that when it comes time for them to review me, I'm still qualified as disabled. Most of the time I'm fine, but there are times when I'm not. When I was reviewed this past time, I was in a bad state, and I think that's why I got approved. But there's no guarantee that I will be approved again. It's something that makes me nervous.
Food today was good... like I said above I was in my calorie range. I had chicken and a Fiber One bar for breakfast and then the buffet for dinner. Well, it was halfway between lunch and dinner, but it's almost 9pm and I'm still full, so it counts as dinner. Mood today was good.. I got to spend some good time with Geo before I left, and so it was nice. He wanted us to go out to dinner so we could have that time together. He's so sweet. I did get a bit depressed again today thinking about leaving, but it was a fleeting thought. So I'm going to upgrade my mood to good. Sleep last night was good... I wanted more, but I had to get up and go with Geo. I think right now I'm just in the mood for getting more sleep no matter how much sleep I get. Stress I talked about above, with the traffic and all, but overall today went good!
Replies
Just a thought about the Soc. Sec - when Geo goes to the office or calls them he should get his address changed with them. He maybe missing other important to him mail.
The buffet = yummy!
Hey Rissa, Haven\'t read your journals in awhile, sounds like your moving forward. Good job and good attitude to start the new year.
what a pain in the butt, good idea about getting the address change, or better, if he hasnt already, go to the post office or online and do a change of address form. just curious, what happened with geo and his mom? remeber chinese food is loaded with salt, that could contriubute to the full feeling. great on sleep. i wouldnt even think about full time, it is way t much to fast, it is very hard to do and to keep up, start out at a comfortable pace. they know how hard you work there, but yes, not showing, even volunterring isnt good, but you have not done it excessively. hugsssss