downtime can be stressful too

I am not complaining that I have a weekend day of right now.

What I am saying is that in my time alone today my sense

of mental health is deteriorating. I'm ok, I am aware of it -

I am writing here and expressing it.
In my alone time I've done the basic chores of the day and have

been keeping Blue as happy as I can. My sense of mood started

to 'soar' as I felt a sense of confidence about being able to be alone.

The small sense of confidence, grew into a bravado and ultimately

into a blind hubris...until, that is, I noticed the mood was everything

I could focus on (in my face so to speak - pure force) and I remembered humility

and the need to take care of essential relationships - routine - survival -

however you want to put it - The thoughts snapped me back to 

commonality and humanity and humility and awareness. So 'downtime' for me can yield some tricky

results. I may be grateful to have time off - but I also know that I've got 

to make plans, or find a relationship with someone I can live with

- besides Blue (don't tell him I said that). I know feeling stressed, frustrated

and even agitated are part of the everyday human experience. I also know that what I do

with it is what we're all challenged with as well..it matters for me as I innately have

a challenge which can lead me 'off the charts' if I don't keep a kind of 

prudence about things. I guess all of this I have said in so many ways

before. Writing it out again (and again) is something that's both cathardic and

focusing. Thanks for reading! Have a super weekend ahead!! :) xx