double life
So I've come to the conclusion that I live a double life.
When Im at work or at school or at any social event ,I'm empty, I'm emotionless carefree,no problems at all , totally and completely professional like, i think only 2 know a little bit about me and thats just a little bit. and when i say little i mean next to none.
As for my second life its online people on this support site that know me and my personal life, And Victor my husband and a few on face book and of course my psyche doc and therapist who actully know me and everything that goes with it.
I'm guessing this double life thing goes along with the trust issues I have, Hell nobody even knows I self harmed yesterday nobody.I'm closed of from everybody because I dont need the pain anymore. That doesnt make me crazy it makes me smart,
I was horrified when i got out of the hospital because my boss would know I'm not normal i hate to use that word because I know there isnt such a thing , I was horrified when i had to have my doctor fill out a back to work form that had my diagnoses on it bipolar and PTSD , now Asim my boss knows ,now hes always asking me if I'm okay and all. It's like I want to tell him "FUck just leave me alone!"
now I got to wear long sleeves for about a week or I lose the personal life battle It would be scary if someone found out about me, my world would feel lie its crashing down if it happened anyway just a long drown out thought, thanx for reading and plz comment.
When Im at work or at school or at any social event ,I'm empty, I'm emotionless carefree,no problems at all , totally and completely professional like, i think only 2 know a little bit about me and thats just a little bit. and when i say little i mean next to none.
As for my second life its online people on this support site that know me and my personal life, And Victor my husband and a few on face book and of course my psyche doc and therapist who actully know me and everything that goes with it.
I'm guessing this double life thing goes along with the trust issues I have, Hell nobody even knows I self harmed yesterday nobody.I'm closed of from everybody because I dont need the pain anymore. That doesnt make me crazy it makes me smart,
I was horrified when i got out of the hospital because my boss would know I'm not normal i hate to use that word because I know there isnt such a thing , I was horrified when i had to have my doctor fill out a back to work form that had my diagnoses on it bipolar and PTSD , now Asim my boss knows ,now hes always asking me if I'm okay and all. It's like I want to tell him "FUck just leave me alone!"
now I got to wear long sleeves for about a week or I lose the personal life battle It would be scary if someone found out about me, my world would feel lie its crashing down if it happened anyway just a long drown out thought, thanx for reading and plz comment.
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