Dont know whats a matter with me.

I really dont know whats a matter with me at the moment, I feel really low and all I feel like doing is crying my eyes out. I self harmed yesterday, I cut my self on my chest, with a razor, but I didnt get any relief from it, so I want to do it again today. Im trying really hard not to think about it, I have tried reading, but I just cant stop thinking about doing it.