dont know what to do

i dont feel like myself, i feel like someone has taken over my body and are going to run me as they wish. i fee l like ive lost myself deep inside and theres no escape for me, no way for me to get around this bump in the road. i dont know what to do,  im worrying myself enough for the btoh of us. i dotn know what to do any more. i dont want to try. dont want to bother. nothing seems worth it right now.
theres somethign inside me, telling me to hurt myself, telling me that its ok, and that i could go see great grandma, but i dotn want to leave the world yet, i dont want to hurt myself, but theres something pushing me to try and hurt myself and that scares me more then anything