don't know how to frame this

I woke up this morning with worry and fear and I tried to tell myself to shake it off.

Go for what you enjoy in life rather than feel like you have to live in a prison of 'just so.'

Enjoy survival, I tried to tell myself - and SURVIVE!!

I tried to drop my fixation on aesthetics and just tried to keep at the job at hand, relaxed

and yet 'on target' to do the job. My hands felt like cat's claws. 

I decided to go to Starbucks to get a coffee, I knew it was a bad idea because I never have

a pleasant experience with the baristas. It's not worth the trip and the cost anymore - but getting out of the

house is important. I went and sure enough - tried to be polite and inobtrusive - but no dice. 
The baristas always give attitude -

Maybe I should find another place to get coffee. OR maybe I should buy coffee and make it at home -

I like getting out of the house - but maybe getting out of the house can take the form of hitting the apartment house

gym. IDK. I am trying the best I can - I wish I could just frame the feelings and drop them.

I am so desperate for connection - and one bad one can have me sinking into the murky waters of

I am unloved. But I know that's not true - I have wonderful family and friends.

This seems so minor in the end but when alone you take things in differently - the magnification can be greater.

I need to find an outlet.