Don't feel like going on but here I am

I don't feel like going on anymore.  I lost the love of my life Smokey in 2009 and then my best friend older brother Don in 2014.  What's the point to being here when most of the people in my life have gone departed moved on to the next life gone to heaven and died.  I am stuck here without all of them.  What's the point?  Why am I here an the lucky ones have moved on?  I don't get it.  Life is hard at best.  Life sucks at times.  There are good moments sprinkled in your life but life is completely 100% hard and difficult.  Its a constant struggle.  I think the lucky ones have died and moved on to the next life.  The unlucky ones are still struggling on this planet called earth.  I am a christian but at times even I find it difficult to put one foot in front of the other foot.  At times its difficult to get out of bed in the morning.  At times its difficult to get dressed.  At times what goes through my brains is what is the point of it all.  At times all these things go through my head.
Other times, life is wonderful, great and the best thing ever.  At times I love all the people currently in my life.  At times, I can see God's plan for me and its great and wonderful.  At times life is good despite the struggles and hardships.  At times life is worth getting out the bed in the morning.  At times getting dressed is fun for me.  At times all the warm and gooshy stuff goes through my brain.  At times my head hands go up and I shout Wooo Wooo!
Life and our attitude can change from one moment in time to the next moment in time.
We never know how we feel but the bad feelings eventually go away. I hope this happens to me because I am in the down mood.
DB