Doing ok

I feel better today and have begun taking steps to get my life back in order. I am not  sure what the future holds for me other than at some point within the next few months, I may be in for some really bad pain and sadness depending on what happens between me and my boyfriend.  I love him with all my heart, and soul, but what is going on is really hurting me. That plus I have been super depressed over the fact that I have yet been able to get pregnant. I feel like I am not much of a woman because I can not (or have not) had any kids. I mean I can't help but feel like he is going to leave me if I can't have kids and yes I know that is an irrational thought, but I have thought it. I grew up wanting nothing more than to be a wife and mother. I think what scares me is that I will never get to be either one of those things.