Doing what I need to do but hating it!!
Hello SOTH - just an update - I have a court date for temporary guardianship 8/6 - in the mean time I was told by court to "try and find Patrick, Hunter's dad who has not been in his life for 13 years". Patrick has a history of numerous arrests, domestic abuse, and just kind of drifting in and out of jobs, cities, etc. REALLY? I NEED TO FIND HIM TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO HAVE HUNTER IN HIS LIFE? Are you frickin' kidding me? - It's like I have to jump through hoops, otherwise, guardianship doesn't happen. So I have spent hours on facebook, contacting friends, paying for detective websites to find him...I have it all documented for the courts and I still haven't found him - no responses from his family or friends...that's a good thing, right? Keep me in your thoughts on Thursday - my stomach is nervous everyday now, I'm short fused, I'm very difficult to be around, and I'm back to work tomorrow with all those demands...parents whining about "stupid stuff".....URGH... I feel like a rubber band that is stretched to its max and will break any minute......of course all of this just has brought Jennifer leaving this earth right in front of my face - iF SHE WERE STILL HERE, NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING!!!!!
I'm grateful for HUnter being close. I'm grateful I'm able to do this. I'm grateful I'm still breathing. I'm grateful for you all. That's my new thing - bitch, then be grateful because I just don't know how much longer I can feel like this. How much longer will my body endure such maniac craziness in me?
It's Monday and I'm off to get Lahti from the kennel ( I was gone this past week-end - first time ever I couldn't enjoy the beach as my mind just won't shut off....) What is happening to me - the life is being sucked right out of me.....
I'm grateful for HUnter being close. I'm grateful I'm able to do this. I'm grateful I'm still breathing. I'm grateful for you all. That's my new thing - bitch, then be grateful because I just don't know how much longer I can feel like this. How much longer will my body endure such maniac craziness in me?
It's Monday and I'm off to get Lahti from the kennel ( I was gone this past week-end - first time ever I couldn't enjoy the beach as my mind just won't shut off....) What is happening to me - the life is being sucked right out of me.....
Replies
That\'s crazy that the court is making you \"try to find Patrick\". Years ago the court would put an ad in the local news trying to locate someone. If that person didn\'t respond in so many days...they couldn\'t be found.
Sounds like you have put forth more than enough effort to \"TRY to find him\". Seems like your job is now finished.
I hope it all works out in the best interest of Hunter. Lots of hugs for you!!
My heart breaks for you and what you are going through. This life of child loss can pull us apart fiber by fiber. It is so much to endure. I identify with the \"stupid stuff\" whining of parents. (If they only knew how much we were going through but of course, we would not want that.)
\"Gratefulness\" was my greatest tool in getting through and I am so glad you mentioned it this morning because I can use it to get through what I am presently dealing with. You and Hunter will have my love and prayers in the coming days for you to get through with the least amount of difficulty.
Tight hugs, Leda
Thinking of you and sending what you need just for today. Vicki, this too shall pass and as awful as it is you will look back upon it and feel amazed that so many hands were in it. This is just a formality that must be done and don\'t allow it to suck your life force energy out of you. To be right in the eye of this hurricane is the pits and who could have seen this one coming, right? Yet, in the end, I suspect Jennifer will feel that ALL is right in the life of her son because YOU are his anchor and North Star.
I\'m thinking of you as your birthday approaches, school begins and you have this tremendous challenge to be working through. Remain steady, keep walking and know that YOU are not doing this alone. Jennifer and Spirit are right there with you every step of the way as are all of your sisters of the heart.
Sending all the LOVE that I have and so much compassion for this gut and heart wrenching process that the courts are making you do. Deepest of sighs...
XO Joanie
Just keep breathing..I try and imagine myself breathing in White (God) and breathing out yellow(crap)...love you, Lauri
That is dreadful. I am so sorry. Could you get sick leave for stress for a bit?
Sending positive vibes for a successful outcome.
In the meantime deep slow breaths in and out.
Love and tight hugs, M
I know this is so very stressful!! The courts have put their work on you!! You have tried, that is all you can do!! Your soth have given you good advice and we all support you. Put one foot in front of the other and breathe... Hunter & Jennifer are counting on you...
((((HUGS)))), Julia
Keep calm, or at least fake it, lol...especially in court. It sounds like you should definitely get custody...I envy you...Cassi was my only child so I will never be a grandmother.
Dear Vicki,
I\'m so sorry that you\'re having to go through this! You\'ve gone well beyond what should be required to locate Hunter\'s dad. Here, when the child\'s 14, he/she can speak to the judge about where he/she wants to live. I\'ve seen kids testify in open court or the judge\'s chambers about who they want to live with. Any decent judge will take his wishes into consideration!
I also hate that you\'re having to jump through all these hoops but you\'ve done well to document your multiple attempts to locate P. That should be acknowledged by the court at the hearing. If P. WAS found & I were the judge, there\'s no way that I would even entertain the thought that he should receive ANY form of custody!!! P. doesn\'t deserve it, has arrests & abuse in his background & has made (as far as I can tell) absolutely NO attempt to have a relationship w/ his son. He\'s apparently NEVER paid child support either. If he fails to appear (which is very likely), you should have no trouble at all being awarded temp. guardianship & ultimately, permanent guardianship for Hunter, for as long as he\'s still a minor child.
Try not to worry a lot about the hearing on Thurs. I think things will work out the EXACT way you want them to. I\'ll send up prayers for your peace of mind & heart!
Keep us posted!
Love,
Donna
I\'ve not had great luck with the court system and so I understand your apprehension. But just have a feeling that this is what Hunter needs and it will work out. I admire all your resourcefulness in locating his biological male parent. Hope he continues to stay under whatever rock he\'s under.
Sending postive thoughts for Thrus. and hugs for you and Hunter.
Debbie
I\'m praying you get the guardianship of Hunter.
You have gone far above the average person would have done. YOU are a great person you will get guardianship have faith I do
Big hugs Penny
Sending prayers that you get guardianship of Hunter!
Keeping good thoughts for you and Hunter